A spoken about moving forward and no longer living in the past! Be encouraged! COMMENT & SHARE!! I want to hear from you!
From my Facebook Post Yesterday:
So the most embarrassing thing in my life has just occurred. I’m having a nice time in the hotel lobby with my family on our last night in NY. At the same time another group is having a party. Everyone is coexisting and it’s great. All of a sudden my stomach is like “Bruh we got bizness to take care of”…so I’m like “Bet I know the perfect poop spot I’ve been using it all week and it’s great. It has the perfect lighting, good music, and it’s nice and clean.” I go to the spotand realize the lock is kind of jacked up. I thought “Well no one has been in here all week so…YOLO!” I sit down and assume the position. Everything is going perfect…then one of the other guys from the other party walks in. The rest is a blur but next thing I know….he’s in my stall. He walked in so strongly as if he had a key to the door. That’s right people…my pants are down, my goodies are out, poop is a factor, and I’m making eye contact with a stranger. What was probably 1-2 sec felt like hours. He curses, calls on Jesus, and leaves abruptly. I’m pretty sure I smiled at him…not sure why…wish I could take it back…but it’s out there now. I remember saying “It’s all good!”…Why did I lie? It wasn’t good at all…it was horrifying. I’m now in my room and refuse to leave. Won’t be coming to NY for a while. #whyme #iblamesatan#NeverPoopingAgain #WhyDidntHeSmellMeBeforeHeWalkedIn #gottaStartMakingNoisesInTheStall
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When I was younger it would really bother me when my friends would cancel the plans they had with me. I’ve always been the type to get excited about upcoming plans I had with people I enjoyed spending time with, especially if it was a girl I was interested in. I have a sister who lives in Richmond and I remember making plans with her to go on a cruise a year in advance. I would tell her how excited I was at least once a month prior to actually going on the trip. Lol. Anyway, whenever friends would change their plans on me I would walk around the house moping. My dad would ask me “what’s wrong?” and I would tell him about how disappointed I was now that I couldn’t do what I was planning to do. He would always tell me to just go by myself. This was around my first or second year of high school so I’m thinking “Is he crazy?….I don’t want to look like a loser without friends!” I didn’t know it then, but my dad was teaching me a very important lesson.
My dad challenged me to spend a “night on the town” by myself at least once. I accepted that challenge! I remember taking myself to dinner and a movie one evening. I’m pretty sure it was a Friday night and I recall a bunch of other groups of friends being out and about having a great time and there I was sitting at a table by myself playing with my phone. I kept hoping no one I knew would see me and that I wouldn’t see any attractive girls because I thought it would be embarrassing. Being alone felt weird, foreign, and uncomfortable but I chose to fight through it to prove to my father that I wasn’t afraid to do things by myself. As the evening progressed I found myself becoming more and more comfortable, I actually began to enjoy my time. I people watched, did a lot of thinking, I relaxed, but most importantly I gained a new sense of confidence in myself.
After that night I promised myself that every once in a while I would “date me”. Even today from time to time I enjoy going to the movies or trying new things alone. I realized it was opportunity to discover what I liked without any outside influence. It helped me build confidence and eliminate insecurities, it showed me how to move forward even when people aren’t willing to move with you. I didn’t realize it then but the lesson I learned on that evening alone was critical to the person I am today.
I think it’s important to learn how to be happy being alone. Being alone isn’t the same as being lonely. As a matter of fact if you can master being alone I’m confident that it will minimize the “lonely feeling” many of us have experienced. Too many of us miss out on opportunities and fall into bad relationships because we fear being alone. The best way to conquer fear is to face it. Force yourself to spend time alone. Go see a movie, try a new restaurant, travel, or take a mini road trip, etc. I’ve done all of these things and believe that I am a better person because of it. Being alone is mostly perceived as a negative position to be in. I don’t agree with that. I think that being alone is an important part of developing your individuality. It supports you in becoming self-sufficient, self-loving, and self-relying. Having friends is very important. I think everyone needs friends and family, but I think it’s just as important to discover how important you are to yourself.
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My group, One Focus, doing some spoken word for Father’s Day at church. Contact us at Onefocusmusic@gmail.com for booking. Don’t forget to LIKE and SHARE!
You know what really sucks? Pain! I’m not talking about physical pain though; I’m referring to emotional hurt. Whether we like to admit it or not, we’ve all experienced disappointment, having our feelings hurt, being rejected, hurt pride, etc. Maybe you really believed in a passionate idea you had and it didn’t work out. Maybe that person that you’ve liked for a while turned you down and started dating someone else. Maybe you really looked up to someone and they let you down. Maybe you’ve been lied to, cheated on, played for a fool, I could go on with countless examples but I think you get the point. We hate how we feel when going through situations that cause us pain and hurt and therefore do everything we can to avoid them.
Since this is my blog I’ll go ahead and admit that I feel like I’ve experienced quite a bit of emotional pain in my life. Now before I go on, let me say that my life is far from the worst and I’m not about to tell you some super sad story that’ll have you tearing up like the end of Toy Story 3. I know that I am truly blessed and won’t complain about my life. That being said, the pain I’ve experienced has come from different situations in my life that I know a lot of you have been through as well. I’ve had a close friend date and sleep with “the girl of my dreams”, I’ve been led on just to be let down, I’ve been rejected repeatedly, I’ve failed, I’ve been cheated on, I’ve been lied to, I even had one girl deny that we were together to someone else because I no longer fit the image of a “cool” boyfriend. Each time I felt pain from these situations I always found myself shutting down and feeling depressed. I didn’t really tell people how I felt. I pretended nothing bothered me, that I was happy, and just absorbed the blows. Even now it’s hard for me to express my feelings because I’m so used to handling it on my own. I would always think “What’s wrong with me?” or “What I am doing wrong?” after ending up in similar situations.
As I get older and gain more experience I’ve come to realize that this whole time I was looking at pain the wrong way.
You probably know this but feeling emotional hurt is normal and natural (Yes even for us men!), it’s something we all go through. Matter of fact without experiencing the pain I’ve felt I would not be the person I am today. It’s like working out at the gym. When I lift with some of my close friends (shout out EJ and Kendrick) and we always challenge each other to lift heavier than we did before. The next day or two I’m always soar and hurting but when I go to lift that same amount of weight again, it’s a little easier. I’ve learned that ME + PAIN = GROWTH! Without my painful experiences I could not have grown into who I am at this very moment. I’ve learned to let toxic people go, to be humble, to be assertive, to walk away, to keep certain people at a distance, not to judge and to choose carefully who I allow to be a part of my life. All of these lessons are the results of me feeling pain.
Today, whenever I experience pain, the feeling sucks but I can’t help but look for the new lesson(s) I’ve learned from it. No one enjoys feeling pain but we have to realize that we have to go through it, and not just go through it but see the value in it. I hate pain but I love the lessons I continue to learn from it. I can tell you that I am no longer afraid of pain. I no longer play the victim to pain. I use pain to evolve and conquer. Pain, if you can hear me…..Bring it on!
New spoken word touching on the subject of forgiveness! Talks about a father who forgave a killer…check it out and leave a comment. Feel free to share as well!
I was talking to a friend of mine this morning about how I feel like you can’t really trust people the way you want to. I feel like so many people seek relationships and connections that only benefit them. I’m referring to any type of relationship whether platonic, romantic, or even family. People are always looking for what THEY can get out of it. I believe that’s why so many relationships don’t work out.
It boils down to two main things…pride and selfishness. We’re too prideful to recognize our faults, to attempt to change for the better, and to realize that sometimes we are the problem. We love posting quotes like “Accept me for who I am” not realizing we may be horrible people. We’re too selfish and become consumed with what we can get out of a relationship and forget that a relationship requires us to give as well.
Our generation celebrates memes that show relationship goals as two perfect looking people with matching Jordans and tattoos instead of people with matching focused mindsets. Our generation celebrates physical attractiveness without looking at the heart of a person. I think we forget that “looks” are temporary. Physical attributes have become the main standard while someone’s character has become negotiable and leaves us willing to compromise. I see it all the time. We say “I love you” without the action to back it up. We don’t commit, praise “not catching feelings”, and look at sex as recreational act. No wonder we have some many trust issues.
No one’s perfect but it’s YOUR responsibility to analyze your relationships (new and old) to protect yourself from heart ache. It’s YOUR responsibility to honestly look at yourself to see if you’re the issues. Its YOUR responsibility to determine if you’re not getting back the same energy you put into a relationship and do something about it (Check out my “Energy” blog). We have to stop playing the victim and start taking control. The unfortunate reality is that you simply cannot trust too freely.
A spoken word to encourage you to make things happen now! Even baby steps will eventually get you to your destination! LIKE, SHARE, AND COMMENT! I want to hear from you!