You know what really sucks? Pain! I’m not talking about physical pain though; I’m referring to emotional hurt. Whether we like to admit it or not, we’ve all experienced disappointment, having our feelings hurt, being rejected, hurt pride, etc. Maybe you really believed in a passionate idea you had and it didn’t work out. Maybe that person that you’ve liked for a while turned you down and started dating someone else. Maybe you really looked up to someone and they let you down. Maybe you’ve been lied to, cheated on, played for a fool, I could go on with countless examples but I think you get the point. We hate how we feel when going through situations that cause us pain and hurt and therefore do everything we can to avoid them.
Since this is my blog I’ll go ahead and admit that I feel like I’ve experienced quite a bit of emotional pain in my life. Now before I go on, let me say that my life is far from the worst and I’m not about to tell you some super sad story that’ll have you tearing up like the end of Toy Story 3. I know that I am truly blessed and won’t complain about my life. That being said, the pain I’ve experienced has come from different situations in my life that I know a lot of you have been through as well. I’ve had a close friend date and sleep with “the girl of my dreams”, I’ve been led on just to be let down, I’ve been rejected repeatedly, I’ve failed, I’ve been cheated on, I’ve been lied to, I even had one girl deny that we were together to someone else because I no longer fit the image of a “cool” boyfriend. Each time I felt pain from these situations I always found myself shutting down and feeling depressed. I didn’t really tell people how I felt. I pretended nothing bothered me, that I was happy, and just absorbed the blows. Even now it’s hard for me to express my feelings because I’m so used to handling it on my own. I would always think “What’s wrong with me?” or “What I am doing wrong?” after ending up in similar situations.
As I get older and gain more experience I’ve come to realize that this whole time I was looking at pain the wrong way.
You probably know this but feeling emotional hurt is normal and natural (Yes even for us men!), it’s something we all go through. Matter of fact without experiencing the pain I’ve felt I would not be the person I am today. It’s like working out at the gym. When I lift with some of my close friends (shout out EJ and Kendrick) and we always challenge each other to lift heavier than we did before. The next day or two I’m always soar and hurting but when I go to lift that same amount of weight again, it’s a little easier. I’ve learned that ME + PAIN = GROWTH! Without my painful experiences I could not have grown into who I am at this very moment. I’ve learned to let toxic people go, to be humble, to be assertive, to walk away, to keep certain people at a distance, not to judge and to choose carefully who I allow to be a part of my life. All of these lessons are the results of me feeling pain.
Today, whenever I experience pain, the feeling sucks but I can’t help but look for the new lesson(s) I’ve learned from it. No one enjoys feeling pain but we have to realize that we have to go through it, and not just go through it but see the value in it. I hate pain but I love the lessons I continue to learn from it. I can tell you that I am no longer afraid of pain. I no longer play the victim to pain. I use pain to evolve and conquer. Pain, if you can hear me…..Bring it on!