I think one of the hardest things for us to do in life is walk away from people that we care about. Some of us get stuck on an idea of how things are supposed to be with someone so we spend a lot of time and energy trying to make it work the way it we see it in our heads. Some of us have spent so much time energy trying to help others that we feel like if we walk away now then it was all for nothing. Some of us feel guilty for walking away so we stick around. We are so afraid, stubborn, and naïve that we don’t realize that not walking away is actually hurting us.
Analyzing the relationships in your life is imperative, especially the new ones. You have to understand that some people are not meant to be in your life at all and some are only meant to be in your life for a season. Sometimes it’s difficult to able to be objective about these relationships while we’re in them but that’s why it’s important to keep you guard up. How do we know who to walk away from? I’m no expert but based on my experiences I believe it’s pretty simple. It comes down to what you are getting out of the relationship and what you are putting in to it. If I work at a company and that company goes out of business, I lose my job; if that company thrives then I’m looking at promotions and bonuses. Relationships are sort of like that. You’re either going to grow together and pull each other up or fall together and pull each other down.
I’ve had close friends that I had to separate myself from because they didn’t want to progress in life. They were content with being non-productive. Even today they’re working the same jobs they’ve been working, following the same routine they’ve been following, and still relying on their parents to take care of them. There was a lot of potential in them to do amazing things but they never had the motivation to grow. I knew I had to part ways from them because I didn’t want to get wrapped up in that same mindset. I remember being really interested in this girl and apparently she liked me too. We hung out a few times and things seem to be going great, but as the relationship went on she began to change. She didn’t want me hanging out with other girls (even though we weren’t officially together), but she was dating other guys and keeping it from me. I really enjoyed my time with her and wanted “us” to work. Walking away from her was difficult but I knew I had to. I was giving so much of myself to her and she loved that feeling, however she wasn’t willing to reciprocate the same energy. She didn’t value me.
I stopped hanging with those friends so that I could grow, even though I loved them. I walked away from dating a girl I cared about because I knew I was worth more than the way I was being treated and didn’t want to waste time and miss other opportunities. How did I do it?
I decided on what I wanted for myself and that choice forced me to remove anything that could compromise that. It wasn’t easy and it hurt, but I accepted that is was normal to hurt, I knew that the hurt was temporary and that eventually I’d be ok. Once I made my decision I tried my best not to focus on any “What if?” thoughts that could eventually have me renege on what I committed to doing, which was letting go. I didn’t spend a lot of idle time thinking about these situations I kept myself busy. I eventually made new friends and found new romantic interest. Today it’s a lot easier for me to let people go when the relationships are toxic. Don’t get me wrong it can still be a struggle but it’s all about looking out for my best interest. Letting people go can be hard yet it’s something we all have to learn to do. There isn’t one way to do it, it’s an art. It’s an art that we must learn to master because our lives depend on it. You have to let people go in order to let yourself grow. Love yourself enough to walk way!
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