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K-Soul

Random thoughts, spoken word, & some humor from K-Soul.

Month

August 2016

Becoming The Best Version Of You!

I think sometimes we become way to self-centered in our lives, which leads to having fixed perspectives and being opinionated. We get to a place in our lives where we think and behave a certain way and have accepted that this is just who we are. I’m all about self-acceptance and self-love. I think it’s a beautiful thing when someone truly loves themselves, can accept all of their imperfections, and can live their life with self-confidence. However, I think at times we become so assured and comfortable with who we are that we forget that there’s room to grow. 

No one is perfect. The fact is sometimes we’re wrong even when all of our live we’ve always thought we were right.  We can’t be so set in our ways and in our views that we can’t improve on the individuals we are. Loving and accepting yourself is great but sometimes you have to be able to analyze who you are as a person to really understand who it is that you’re deciding to love. If I’m a selfish and rude person who “accepts me for who I am” then how can I progress and become a better person? We are living in a time when everyone wants to “keep it 100” and/or be honest with everyone but themselves. Some also don’t like when others respectfully correct them because they confuse that humbling feeling with belittlement or thinking that someone is “hating” on them.  We’re to prideful to admit that at times we are the ones in error. Sometimes we are the problem, sometimes we’re horrible people, sometime we’re the bad guys but we aren’t humble enough to realize that. People don’t get stuck in their ways because they become older in age, people get stuck in their ways because they’ve never learned how to adapt and evolve as individuals.

I’ve mentioned in some of my older blogs that I have trust issues (See “Trust” blog). There was a time when I would tell you that I’m not a trusting person and that’s just who am so take or leave it. I knew that was no way to live and that I needed to change. I had to go through some personal growth in order to allow myself to trust again. I had to change who I was and go through some growing pains. Although I’ve learned from my past experiences and still keep a guard up because that’s a wise thing to do, I’ve learned to trust again. I’m nowhere near perfect and still have some growing to do but I’m humble enough to recognize that.  I saw that the person I was needed to be upgraded to something better and sought to make that happen.


Don’t be afraid to look for flaws in your character. It’s not a matter of experiencing a guilt trip but rather figuring out how to become the best version of you.


As a spoken word artist and a musician I love what I do and have confidence in my abilities, but I still go back and watch my videos to see what I can improve on. Why? Because I want to become better and improve on my skills. It’s the same thing with who you are and how you develop as a person. Look at the way you think, the way you treat others, the decision you make in life, and so forth. Take a step back and see if there are areas in your life that you can improve in. You can do this while still loving yourself and being happy with you are. When you take hold of this mentality the person you are today will always be better than the person you were yesterday.

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Colonel Sanders Failed – Spoken Word

Check out this week’s spoken word about failing! Don’t forget to COMMENT, SHARE, & FOLLOW MY BLOG!

Pointless Anger: Why are You Mad?

The other week I was sitting in a drive-thru line, it was late and I hadn’t eaten all day so I figured I’d grab something real quick. As I pull up all I hear is yelling, in the car right in front of me there was a lady shouting out of her window cursing and complaining. She was frustrated and angry because the line was moving pretty slow. It was about 1:00am, so I’m guessing she was tired, impatient, and “hangry” at the very least. About 5 minutes after I pulled up behind her it was now her turn to order. Again she began yelling “What’s taking ya’ll so long?…(insert profanity and insults)…This doesn’t make any sense!!” When she’s finish ordering I pull up and began placing my order. She’s still yelling! “Can you believe this!?…(insert additional profanity)…This is ridiculous!” She pretty much yelled and cursed non-stop for the next 15 minutes. There was a point where I thought: “She’s not making the line move any faster, they’re not going to make her food taste any better, and at this point they’re probably ignoring her so why is she yelling?”

We are all human and therefore none of us are perfect. Sometimes we lose our composure, our tempers, and control of our emotions (See “Control” blog). The lady at the drive-thru was unhappy about the “lack of service” she felt she was getting and therefore became livid. Now there’s nothing wrong being angry, although in my personal opinion this was not an “anger worthy” situation, anger is a natural feeling that we have felt and will feel sometime in the future.  It’s inevitable! The issue I had is with how she expressed her anger over something so minuscule and how she allowed it to control her.  She was so mad and didn’t realize how silly she looked and sounded. She didn’t realize that her anger was pointless and counter-productive. She received the same service everyone else in the line got except none of us had to yell and scream to get it. She wasted her energy and had no positive effective on the situation.

A lot of us are too easily angered. The smallest issues make us mad and cause us to have bad days filled with frustration. Anger is a dangerous emotion to lose control of. I rarely get angry but I know that when I do, I become a different person and I do and say a lot of things I normally wouldn’t. In other words anger takes me out of my character. Losing control is a sign of weakness. People have died at the hands of those who couldn’t control their rage and ended up doing something horrible, something that was out of character for them. We see it in the news all the time.  I read an article that mentioned cases where people have murdered people for “unfriending” them on Facebook and even for passing gas. Sounds stupid and senseless right? Well, that’s exactly how losing control of your anger makes you behave.  These acts were sparked by POINTLESS anger that they allowed to control them.

It’s very important that we identify if we need to work on our anger issues or not. I use to get upset very quickly until I started asking myself questions like “Is this really worth being angry about?” or “How does being pissed off fix the situation?” I’ve seen people become irate so often that it not only controls them in those moments but it begins to control them in their everyday lives. Most of time you’re only hurting yourself and the people you’re mad at aren’t losing any sleep over your anger. Do you really want to give someone that power over you? Anger is not only bad for you emotionally and spiritually but also affects you physically. There’s a time to be angry, but don’t let in control you when you should be the one controlling it.

Thanks for reading! Don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, SHARE & FOLLOW ME!!

Blooper Reel #1

As most of you know I release a spoken word video every Monday. Here’s some behind the scenes footage of me messing up for you to laugh at. If you enjoy LIKE, SHARE, & leave a COMMENT! Don’t forget to subscribe to my website!

Your Decisions = Your Type of Life

Earlier this week I saw a quote on Instagram that said “We are only one decision away from living a totally different life” and it blew my mind. I know that the decisions we make in life can and will affect us for the rest of our lives but this statement made me realize that on a more granular level. KFC founder, Colonel Sanders, was rejected 1,009 times before making the decision to make his 1,010th attempt to sell his chicken recipe which is the decision that changed his life. This quote motivated me to analyze my past in order to see how I got to where I’m at today.

Years ago when MySpace was popular, I remember searching for other musical artist that lived in my area to collaborate with. I sent out a bunch of messages reaching out to others and received a lot of responses where people would invite me to come to their studio or to their show in order to talk business. Every conversation I had sort of fizzled out and no connections were made. It was mainly my fault; I was lazy and wasn’t really disciplined with my music at the time. One day I received a message from this guy inviting me to meet up with him and for some reason I made the decision to go. I can tell you today that one decision alone changed my life significantly. I ended up meeting two of my best friends as well as making other close friends, I was part of a small DMV (D.C., Maryland, Virginia) tour, I became a better musician, traveled to Haiti to help earthquake victims and a long list of other things. I didn’t know it at the time but that decision gave me the life I have today. I wouldn’t even be doing spoken word or this blog now if it wasn’t for that decision then.

It’s important to realize that what we decide today may seem insignificant but in reality it can be something that changes your life and sends you down a certain path. Both the good and the bad decisions we have made has shaped our lives to be what it is presently. I’m not telling you to stress every choice you make in life but I think it’s essential that we’re aware of the endless possibilities or choices can take us. If I had chosen to continue being lazy in the aforementioned story I would have missed out on some great experiences, amazing friendships, and my life would be totally different. I’ve made bad decision too that I now regret looking back, but at the time I didn’t realize that the decisions I was making would affect me years later. This is why you always hear people say “If I only knew then what I know now, my life would be different!” There are even a bunch of songs written about it.

We have to be careful to not allow fear, ignorance, a lack of motivation or a lack of focus hinder us from deciding to take advantage of the opportunities we get in life. We have to make sure we’re not being dismissive towards people for superficial reasons because you never know what someone may have to offer. Part of living life to the fullest is making decisions that lead to a full life. We have to examine our decision-making skills to ensure that we aren’t making life choices that lead us down a path that leaves unhappy and unsatisfied at the end of it. We want to make sure that our choices lead us to living the best life possible.

The Girl Who Couldn’t Be Broken – Spoken Word

This is a true story! Sexual abuse is such a huge issue that’s rarely addressed. Anyone that has experienced anything like this I hope this encourages you to conquer that pain that someone caused you.  LIKE, SHARE, & LEAVE A COMMENT!

 

Dating Sucks But It’s Neccesary!

As a guy who has been single for years now I can tell you that I’ve experienced a lot of frustration and disappointment with dating and “talking to” women. (Some Of My Experiences) I know I’m not alone in having these ill feeling towards dating. Sometimes the negative energy from those frustrations stays with you as you carry them into the next potential relationship. Although you may believe the way you feel is justified because of what you’ve been through we still have to be careful not to let the past force us to pre-label people and relationships. These are all learning experiences that teach us to better guard ourselves moving forward. We just have to make sure we aren’t taking that negative energy with us as we move on.

The reality is you will date people who suck. Sorry, but that’s life ladies and gentleman. We are living in a time when “Netflix and Chill”, having side pieces, and casual sex are widely accepted as part of the dating culture.  You will date people who will string you along until they find something “better”. You will end up caring about someone more than they care about you. You will date people who will make you think it’s exclusive while they are dating others behind your back. You will discover that people don’t truly value you or your time. You’ll run into people who sleep around, who are dishonest, rude, selfish, and bunch of other attributes that will leave you feeling like you should just give up. Although feeling that way is natural, it’s no way to think while dating.

A lot of the time we leave these relationships or potential relationships with thoughts like: “All women are/All men are (Insert negative adjective here). For example, I know that I have trust issues because I’ve been lied to and played before so I’m often scared to get too close. I also don’t like discussing my feelings because in the back of my head I’m always thinking it’ll be used against me or that things won’t work out anyway so what’s the point.  I know that it’s okay to guard my heart more effectively based on my past experiences, that’s what we’re supposed to do, but I also know that I can’t enter into new relationships not trusting people and not being open because successful relationships have a foundation of trust and good communication. We have to try our best to just get over it. I know it’s not easy but we have to try anyways. Today I’m not as “overly guarded” as I used to be, but I’m still a work in progress. 

A while back I wrote a blog about ending up with regrets versus failing. (Check It Out Here) We have to apply that same type of logic to our dating lives. Failed attempts at finding a potential significant other can be discouraging and disheartening but at least you tried. Don’t become so bitter to point that you end up alone regretting that you didn’t keep pushing. Don’t become so heartless that you began using others the way you’ve been used. Don’t award the people who suck the power to take you off your original path to find an authentic and sincere love. Despite what A LOT of people may claim you won’t find a bunch of genuine people waiting around the corner for you. People like that are rare! The truth is that it’s supposed to be hard to find a real and unconditional type of love because if you could find it with just anybody, it wouldn’t be special. 

Dating may suck for you right now but whether you know it or not, it’s preparing you for your future relationship. The one you’ve been looking for. It’s molding you into a certain type a person. It’s necessary to help you discover what kind of relationship you want and need. Just make sure you walk away from the bad relationships with the positive lesson and not the negative energy. That negative energy causes negative thinking that only hurts you!

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Too Many Excuses – Spoken Word

A spoken word enouraging us to stop making excuses and to make things happen for ourselves. It’s easy to find a reason to not do something and the hinders us from being great! So no more excuses, let’s approach our dreams and goals  like our lives depend on it!

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