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I’ve had many others tell me over the years that I’m an extremely patient person. People have complimented me on my ability to steer through difficult and tense situations with class and calmness even when most wouldn’t blame me for losing my composure. There are some who see my patience as a weakness or as something that allows other to walk all over me. The truth is that it’s one of the hardest things that I’ve had to learn to do. Even today it can be a struggle. In all reality it takes a lot of strength to be patient. Being patient isn’t a natural trait for me. It’s not something I was born with. It’s something that that I had to really WORK towards, it’s something that I had to practice.
We all have different thresholds of tolerance, but most of us claim to be impatient wishing we had more patience. We have accepted being easily aggravated as part of our personalities and part of what makes us who we are. We want things done quickly, we demand immediate answers, and we think things should be done our way. There are a variety of thing that may set us off. Bad customer service, traffic, being disrespected, or when things don’t go our way. We even converse with other impatient people in order to justify our impatient actions not realizing how damaging it is. Being impatient or the way we deal with it can lead to a lot of negative outcomes.
Impatience can lead to having a lot of anxiety and to being overly and sometimes obliviously hostile. This all causes stress. According to the CDC 110 million people die every year as a direct result of stress. They calculate that to be 7 people every 2 seconds. Not only that but it can lead to weight gain, high blood pressure, and heart attacks.
Being around impatient people can sometimes be difficult. When someone becomes impatient they become counterproductive, rude, and sometimes just flat out embarrassing to be with. Impatience causes you to be selfish and dismissive of others. Even today there are certain people that I refuse to do certain things with because I know how impatient they can be and how they react to that impatience. In this way it can ruin relationships in your life. No one wants to be spend time with someone who’s constantly stressed out, hostile, and complains all the time. Also to be candid, sometimes it just makes people look foolish!
When you choose to accept that you’re an impatient person it’s like choosing to think negatively. It can cause you to quit or to give up easily. When you become impatient you become angry and anger causes you to behave and think illogically and irrationally. You may not realize it but impatience is a really dark trait to hold onto. It’s why you hear stories on the news about regular people just completely losing their minds in the spur of a moment and they end up hurting others emotionally and physically. Impatient people can be abusive, mean spirited, and disrespectful.
Once I realized how much of a negative impact being easily irritated could have on my life I realized that I had to do something about it, so I simply just stared trying. I tried my best to be patient and I failed many times. Today I still fail occasionally and lose my patience but I’ve learned that by consistently trying that I was becoming a more and more patient person. I’ve also realized that even when I am impatient I don’t always have to react negatively.
Even though most see me as patient and laid-back from the outside, on the inside sometimes something different is happening. I can actually be easily frustrated and can be sensitive to the way I’m addressed by others. I get just as annoyed as the next person does. People think I’ve been walking around my whole life being optimistic, when in reality I’ve had to struggle to fight off pessimism. Today I’m still impatient at times but I’m more patient because I put in some hard work to become that person. It didn’t happen overnight, it took time. I also had to be honest with myself realizing that sometimes I’m too impatient. That’s the hard part that most of us don’t want to do. (Becoming the Best Version of You)
Now there are times when being impatient is an appropriate response; I think the same thing about anger. For example I remember when I broke my leg and went to the hospital the doctor and nurses were being lackadaisical about dealing with my injury. My dad became extremely impatient, but while keeping his composure he very sternly demanded that I be moved to a different hospital. His impatience led to me getting better care but realize I said that he kept his composure. Sometimes we think that we have to act out negatively in order to avoid suppressing our feelings or to get our points across when we don’t. There’s more than one way to skin a cat but a lot of the times we choose the hardest way.
If you truly want to become more patient it’s going to take some work and honesty on your part. The next time you get cut off traffic instead of having road rage move on with your life. When you see things aren’t going your way instead of throwing an adult temper tantrum think about possible solutions and remedies. If you experience horrible customer service somewhere instead of cursing someone out just ask for the corporate number and let them know your concerns. Before snapping at someone find a more effective way to communicate. These alternate reactions will bring more peace and positive energy to your life. The more you practice the more patient you become.
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A while ago I wrote a blog about becoming the best version of yourself, that means realizing that we are not perfect and that there are things we all can work on to become better people. The key to do doing so is humbling yourself and being honest with yourself about the “flaws” that you have. For example maybe you could be more patient, do you speak rudely to others, can you be a better listener, etc. The issue with putting the responsibility of assessing yourself in your own hands is that we have been ourselves for so long that it can be hard to notice the areas that may need a little work. It may be hard and even awkward at times but sometimes what other people think about you, negative or positive, can be an important factor to becoming the best version of yourself possible.
When I started out doing spoken word and music a lot of people would always give me compliments on my performance. It felt really good to hear all the praises from others. Well one day some random person pretty much told me that I was just “ok”. My initial reaction was to ignore him and brush him off as a hater but then I decided to ask him “Well what do you think I could better?” To sum things up he told me that I lacked confidence. Now at that point I could have disregarded his opinion and focused on all the positive feedback that I was getting from others, but I didn’t. Even though it didn’t feel as good as the positive approvals I’d received, I realized that he was right and this ultimately led to me being a better performer. The guy in my story was unbiased to the opinion that I had of myself, and even though other people fed me good comments those words did nothing to elevate my performance and art. He was an outsider with an objective perspective on who I was as an artist and I choose to hear him out and make changes. I’ve applied this same attitude to how I receive constructive criticism from others when it comes to my personality.
For most of us when someone has an opinion about our character that we don’t like we tend to label them as haters. I see memes all the time telling people to be themselves no matter what anyone else says or thinks but truthfully, that’s unwise. Now there are some people’s opinion that are just meant to be hateful and crude, you know the actual “haters” that are out there! These people are usually pretty easy to spot because they’ll give you criticism without having anything constructive to say. Those are the opinions that don’t matter! However when someone tells you that you could be a little more polite, that you could stop and put others first sometimes, or that you could be a little less dismissive of someone else’s opinions, instead of getting mad or defensive you might want to hear them out. It’s definitely a humbling experience but it’s also a rewarding one.
A good way to ensure that you receive honest opinions on what kind of person you are is to keep honest people around you who aren’t “yes “ men and woman. It’s important to keep people around you who are willing to be honest about when you are wrong. I’ve been in heated arguments with people and then had friends tell me that maybe I went overboard or that I could have handled things in a more civil manner. Those opinions from honest friends have stuck with me for so long that even now when I’m in an argument or a debate I’m constantly telling myself to stay cool no matter how passionate or angry I might be on the inside.
If becoming the best version of you is something you want to do then you have to allow others to be honest with you in a respectable manner. You have to recognize that your opinion of yourself may be biased and therefore a little too generous. It’s great to be confident but it’s just as important to remain humble so that you can be willing to change those things you may not notice about yourself that others do. This is why what others think about you matters….sometimes!
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I think sometimes we become way to self-centered in our lives, which leads to having fixed perspectives and being opinionated. We get to a place in our lives where we think and behave a certain way and have accepted that this is just who we are. I’m all about self-acceptance and self-love. I think it’s a beautiful thing when someone truly loves themselves, can accept all of their imperfections, and can live their life with self-confidence. However, I think at times we become so assured and comfortable with who we are that we forget that there’s room to grow.
No one is perfect. The fact is sometimes we’re wrong even when all of our live we’ve always thought we were right. We can’t be so set in our ways and in our views that we can’t improve on the individuals we are. Loving and accepting yourself is great but sometimes you have to be able to analyze who you are as a person to really understand who it is that you’re deciding to love. If I’m a selfish and rude person who “accepts me for who I am” then how can I progress and become a better person? We are living in a time when everyone wants to “keep it 100” and/or be honest with everyone but themselves. Some also don’t like when others respectfully correct them because they confuse that humbling feeling with belittlement or thinking that someone is “hating” on them. We’re to prideful to admit that at times we are the ones in error. Sometimes we are the problem, sometimes we’re horrible people, sometime we’re the bad guys but we aren’t humble enough to realize that. People don’t get stuck in their ways because they become older in age, people get stuck in their ways because they’ve never learned how to adapt and evolve as individuals.
I’ve mentioned in some of my older blogs that I have trust issues (See “Trust” blog). There was a time when I would tell you that I’m not a trusting person and that’s just who am so take or leave it. I knew that was no way to live and that I needed to change. I had to go through some personal growth in order to allow myself to trust again. I had to change who I was and go through some growing pains. Although I’ve learned from my past experiences and still keep a guard up because that’s a wise thing to do, I’ve learned to trust again. I’m nowhere near perfect and still have some growing to do but I’m humble enough to recognize that. I saw that the person I was needed to be upgraded to something better and sought to make that happen.
Don’t be afraid to look for flaws in your character. It’s not a matter of experiencing a guilt trip but rather figuring out how to become the best version of you.
As a spoken word artist and a musician I love what I do and have confidence in my abilities, but I still go back and watch my videos to see what I can improve on. Why? Because I want to become better and improve on my skills. It’s the same thing with who you are and how you develop as a person. Look at the way you think, the way you treat others, the decision you make in life, and so forth. Take a step back and see if there are areas in your life that you can improve in. You can do this while still loving yourself and being happy with you are. When you take hold of this mentality the person you are today will always be better than the person you were yesterday.
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The other week I was sitting in a drive-thru line, it was late and I hadn’t eaten all day so I figured I’d grab something real quick. As I pull up all I hear is yelling, in the car right in front of me there was a lady shouting out of her window cursing and complaining. She was frustrated and angry because the line was moving pretty slow. It was about 1:00am, so I’m guessing she was tired, impatient, and “hangry” at the very least. About 5 minutes after I pulled up behind her it was now her turn to order. Again she began yelling “What’s taking ya’ll so long?…(insert profanity and insults)…This doesn’t make any sense!!” When she’s finish ordering I pull up and began placing my order. She’s still yelling! “Can you believe this!?…(insert additional profanity)…This is ridiculous!” She pretty much yelled and cursed non-stop for the next 15 minutes. There was a point where I thought: “She’s not making the line move any faster, they’re not going to make her food taste any better, and at this point they’re probably ignoring her so why is she yelling?”
We are all human and therefore none of us are perfect. Sometimes we lose our composure, our tempers, and control of our emotions (See “Control” blog). The lady at the drive-thru was unhappy about the “lack of service” she felt she was getting and therefore became livid. Now there’s nothing wrong being angry, although in my personal opinion this was not an “anger worthy” situation, anger is a natural feeling that we have felt and will feel sometime in the future. It’s inevitable! The issue I had is with how she expressed her anger over something so minuscule and how she allowed it to control her. She was so mad and didn’t realize how silly she looked and sounded. She didn’t realize that her anger was pointless and counter-productive. She received the same service everyone else in the line got except none of us had to yell and scream to get it. She wasted her energy and had no positive effective on the situation.
A lot of us are too easily angered. The smallest issues make us mad and cause us to have bad days filled with frustration. Anger is a dangerous emotion to lose control of. I rarely get angry but I know that when I do, I become a different person and I do and say a lot of things I normally wouldn’t. In other words anger takes me out of my character. Losing control is a sign of weakness. People have died at the hands of those who couldn’t control their rage and ended up doing something horrible, something that was out of character for them. We see it in the news all the time. I read an article that mentioned cases where people have murdered people for “unfriending” them on Facebook and even for passing gas. Sounds stupid and senseless right? Well, that’s exactly how losing control of your anger makes you behave. These acts were sparked by POINTLESS anger that they allowed to control them.
It’s very important that we identify if we need to work on our anger issues or not. I use to get upset very quickly until I started asking myself questions like “Is this really worth being angry about?” or “How does being pissed off fix the situation?” I’ve seen people become irate so often that it not only controls them in those moments but it begins to control them in their everyday lives. Most of time you’re only hurting yourself and the people you’re mad at aren’t losing any sleep over your anger. Do you really want to give someone that power over you? Anger is not only bad for you emotionally and spiritually but also affects you physically. There’s a time to be angry, but don’t let in control you when you should be the one controlling it.
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Earlier this week I saw a quote on Instagram that said “We are only one decision away from living a totally different life” and it blew my mind. I know that the decisions we make in life can and will affect us for the rest of our lives but this statement made me realize that on a more granular level. KFC founder, Colonel Sanders, was rejected 1,009 times before making the decision to make his 1,010th attempt to sell his chicken recipe which is the decision that changed his life. This quote motivated me to analyze my past in order to see how I got to where I’m at today.
Years ago when MySpace was popular, I remember searching for other musical artist that lived in my area to collaborate with. I sent out a bunch of messages reaching out to others and received a lot of responses where people would invite me to come to their studio or to their show in order to talk business. Every conversation I had sort of fizzled out and no connections were made. It was mainly my fault; I was lazy and wasn’t really disciplined with my music at the time. One day I received a message from this guy inviting me to meet up with him and for some reason I made the decision to go. I can tell you today that one decision alone changed my life significantly. I ended up meeting two of my best friends as well as making other close friends, I was part of a small DMV (D.C., Maryland, Virginia) tour, I became a better musician, traveled to Haiti to help earthquake victims and a long list of other things. I didn’t know it at the time but that decision gave me the life I have today. I wouldn’t even be doing spoken word or this blog now if it wasn’t for that decision then.
It’s important to realize that what we decide today may seem insignificant but in reality it can be something that changes your life and sends you down a certain path. Both the good and the bad decisions we have made has shaped our lives to be what it is presently. I’m not telling you to stress every choice you make in life but I think it’s essential that we’re aware of the endless possibilities or choices can take us. If I had chosen to continue being lazy in the aforementioned story I would have missed out on some great experiences, amazing friendships, and my life would be totally different. I’ve made bad decision too that I now regret looking back, but at the time I didn’t realize that the decisions I was making would affect me years later. This is why you always hear people say “If I only knew then what I know now, my life would be different!” There are even a bunch of songs written about it.
We have to be careful to not allow fear, ignorance, a lack of motivation or a lack of focus hinder us from deciding to take advantage of the opportunities we get in life. We have to make sure we’re not being dismissive towards people for superficial reasons because you never know what someone may have to offer. Part of living life to the fullest is making decisions that lead to a full life. We have to examine our decision-making skills to ensure that we aren’t making life choices that lead us down a path that leaves unhappy and unsatisfied at the end of it. We want to make sure that our choices lead us to living the best life possible.
As a guy who has been single for years now I can tell you that I’ve experienced a lot of frustration and disappointment with dating and “talking to” women. (Some Of My Experiences) I know I’m not alone in having these ill feeling towards dating. Sometimes the negative energy from those frustrations stays with you as you carry them into the next potential relationship. Although you may believe the way you feel is justified because of what you’ve been through we still have to be careful not to let the past force us to pre-label people and relationships. These are all learning experiences that teach us to better guard ourselves moving forward. We just have to make sure we aren’t taking that negative energy with us as we move on.
The reality is you will date people who suck. Sorry, but that’s life ladies and gentleman. We are living in a time when “Netflix and Chill”, having side pieces, and casual sex are widely accepted as part of the dating culture. You will date people who will string you along until they find something “better”. You will end up caring about someone more than they care about you. You will date people who will make you think it’s exclusive while they are dating others behind your back. You will discover that people don’t truly value you or your time. You’ll run into people who sleep around, who are dishonest, rude, selfish, and bunch of other attributes that will leave you feeling like you should just give up. Although feeling that way is natural, it’s no way to think while dating.
A lot of the time we leave these relationships or potential relationships with thoughts like: “All women are/All men are (Insert negative adjective here). For example, I know that I have trust issues because I’ve been lied to and played before so I’m often scared to get too close. I also don’t like discussing my feelings because in the back of my head I’m always thinking it’ll be used against me or that things won’t work out anyway so what’s the point. I know that it’s okay to guard my heart more effectively based on my past experiences, that’s what we’re supposed to do, but I also know that I can’t enter into new relationships not trusting people and not being open because successful relationships have a foundation of trust and good communication. We have to try our best to just get over it. I know it’s not easy but we have to try anyways. Today I’m not as “overly guarded” as I used to be, but I’m still a work in progress.
A while back I wrote a blog about ending up with regrets versus failing. (Check It Out Here) We have to apply that same type of logic to our dating lives. Failed attempts at finding a potential significant other can be discouraging and disheartening but at least you tried. Don’t become so bitter to point that you end up alone regretting that you didn’t keep pushing. Don’t become so heartless that you began using others the way you’ve been used. Don’t award the people who suck the power to take you off your original path to find an authentic and sincere love. Despite what A LOT of people may claim you won’t find a bunch of genuine people waiting around the corner for you. People like that are rare! The truth is that it’s supposed to be hard to find a real and unconditional type of love because if you could find it with just anybody, it wouldn’t be special.
Dating may suck for you right now but whether you know it or not, it’s preparing you for your future relationship. The one you’ve been looking for. It’s molding you into a certain type a person. It’s necessary to help you discover what kind of relationship you want and need. Just make sure you walk away from the bad relationships with the positive lesson and not the negative energy. That negative energy causes negative thinking that only hurts you!
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During the past couple of months my thinking and outlook on life has changed significantly. I’ve been determined to achieve a lot of artistic goals and life goals that I have set for myself. I’ve been reading a lot and speaking to others who are both wiser and more knowledgeable than I am. I make sure I stay in constant contact with these people and friends who are just as motivated and as hungry to succeed as I am. They help shape the mentality I have. I truly believe that one of the most important tools for moving towards achieving greatness is knowing how and when to change your mindset.
I’ve been doing spoken word and music for a number of years now. It’s something I always loved doing but never fully committed to it. I’ve had some epic moments in my spoken word/music career but I always treated it like a hobby. It was just something I would do when I had time to or if an opportunity happened to cross my path. Well I realized I was cheating myself and also cheating others out of experiencing my gift at its full potential (Check out “Gifts” blog). I became aware that I should be chasing my dreams instead of waiting for things to happen for me. I had to change my way of thinking, and fast. Once I went through that transformation, not only did I see myself growing but more opportunities began to come my way.
There are a lot of us that have experienced riding an emotional roller coaster for various reasons. Sometimes life comes at you so hard that all you want to do is scream, cry, break something, or worse. These emotional hurricanes can be caused by situations, people, and to be completely honestly sometimes we are just overly emotional. Either way, the point is that we’ve all been there and will more than likely end up there again at some point in our lives. It’s ok to be emotional but I want to talk about staying in control while dealing with these feelings.
We all react differently to these overwhelming waves of emotion. I tend to shut down and keep things to myself. It may not be the best way to handle things, but it’s what I’ve been doing for so long. There are times when I reach out to family or friends for help and guidance but most of the time I deal with everything on my own. I don’t recommend doing that!! It’s something I’m trying to change. I have a friend who is always telling me I should be more open versus keeping everything bottled in. (You’re right Faith!) We’ll save that discussion for another blog though. Another friend of mine normally loses her temper and ceases to think rationally. She’s even had to go to court and take an anger management class as a result of losing control of herself. When we lose control we put ourselves at risk to do something that we will later regret. That’s what happens with crimes of passion.
Losing control of who you are due to the strong feelings you encounter can be dangerous. We literally become different people when we experience strong anger, intense hurt, unbearable embarrassment, deep depression and a long list of other emotions. We get so caught up in the moment that we react without thinking. Before I mentioned that I usually keep a lot of issues pinned up inside me. The problem with that is we can potentially end up keeping so much to ourselves that we eventually explode and lose restraint. It’s important to deal with our feelings while staying in control.
Dealing with our emotions is always a little tricky. We all think differently and are affected by our feelings in unique ways, but learning to control ourselves when we are overcome with extreme emotions is something we all need to do. It’s okay to be emotional but we have to train our minds to handle these sensations in practical ways. Whether it’s venting to someone, exercising, or walking away from a situation, we have to learn to maintain our composures. The more we control ourselves, the more it becomes a second nature reaction for us. No one is perfect, but it’s not about being flawless, it’s about trying.
I know there are a lot of people who have experiences tougher situations in life than I have, but regardless I want to challenge you to find out what works for you! The next time you feel unbearably emotional find a way to maintain a rational mindset as well as your character. Do not let your emotions cause you to change in a negative way. Train your mindset to solve problems and deal with situations head on. Be bigger than how you feel and stay in control. This is how we are able to become mentally fit and survive through adversity. The key to sustaining control is having a strong mind!
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I think one of the hardest things for us to do in life is walk away from people that we care about. Some of us get stuck on an idea of how things are supposed to be with someone so we spend a lot of time and energy trying to make it work the way it we see it in our heads. Some of us have spent so much time energy trying to help others that we feel like if we walk away now then it was all for nothing. Some of us feel guilty for walking away so we stick around. We are so afraid, stubborn, and naïve that we don’t realize that not walking away is actually hurting us.
Analyzing the relationships in your life is imperative, especially the new ones. You have to understand that some people are not meant to be in your life at all and some are only meant to be in your life for a season. Sometimes it’s difficult to able to be objective about these relationships while we’re in them but that’s why it’s important to keep you guard up. How do we know who to walk away from? I’m no expert but based on my experiences I believe it’s pretty simple. It comes down to what you are getting out of the relationship and what you are putting in to it. If I work at a company and that company goes out of business, I lose my job; if that company thrives then I’m looking at promotions and bonuses. Relationships are sort of like that. You’re either going to grow together and pull each other up or fall together and pull each other down.
I’ve had close friends that I had to separate myself from because they didn’t want to progress in life. They were content with being non-productive. Even today they’re working the same jobs they’ve been working, following the same routine they’ve been following, and still relying on their parents to take care of them. There was a lot of potential in them to do amazing things but they never had the motivation to grow. I knew I had to part ways from them because I didn’t want to get wrapped up in that same mindset. I remember being really interested in this girl and apparently she liked me too. We hung out a few times and things seem to be going great, but as the relationship went on she began to change. She didn’t want me hanging out with other girls (even though we weren’t officially together), but she was dating other guys and keeping it from me. I really enjoyed my time with her and wanted “us” to work. Walking away from her was difficult but I knew I had to. I was giving so much of myself to her and she loved that feeling, however she wasn’t willing to reciprocate the same energy. She didn’t value me.
I stopped hanging with those friends so that I could grow, even though I loved them. I walked away from dating a girl I cared about because I knew I was worth more than the way I was being treated and didn’t want to waste time and miss other opportunities. How did I do it?
I decided on what I wanted for myself and that choice forced me to remove anything that could compromise that. It wasn’t easy and it hurt, but I accepted that is was normal to hurt, I knew that the hurt was temporary and that eventually I’d be ok. Once I made my decision I tried my best not to focus on any “What if?” thoughts that could eventually have me renege on what I committed to doing, which was letting go. I didn’t spend a lot of idle time thinking about these situations I kept myself busy. I eventually made new friends and found new romantic interest. Today it’s a lot easier for me to let people go when the relationships are toxic. Don’t get me wrong it can still be a struggle but it’s all about looking out for my best interest. Letting people go can be hard yet it’s something we all have to learn to do. There isn’t one way to do it, it’s an art. It’s an art that we must learn to master because our lives depend on it. You have to let people go in order to let yourself grow. Love yourself enough to walk way!
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Our lives are made up of various relationships. They include family, friends, significant others, spouses, business partnerships, etc. These relationships play a significant part in defining who we are and who we are becoming every day. As human beings we are born with a natural desire to be in these relationships and therefore we tend to seek them out. Honestly we need them. We need these connections and associations in order to have a good support system, to be loved, to love, to help us grow, and for many other important reasons. The issue is that we often fail to realize is how important these relationships are to our individual growth and therefore end up being a part of some toxic ones that we are afraid to let go of.
In any relationship there comes a point in time when sit back and analyze it. We want to know how a certain bond has affected our lives. Is it healthy or unhealthy? Is it a blessing or a curse? We want to be sure we are getting back the same type of energy that we are putting into it. (See My Energy Blog) I’m writing this because I want to encourage you to build relationships with people who recognize your value!
A few weeks ago I posted a spoken word about relationship experiences I’ve had in my search for “real love” (Check it out here). Those potential relationships weren’t successful with those ladies because they didn’t see or recognize any value in me as a potential boyfriend. As harsh as that may sound, it’s simply the truth. After watching those potential relationships die I realized a lot of self-doubt was filling up inside of me because I began to take on the perspectives of those who didn’t see the value that I once saw in myself. I had to realize that I can’t let what others fail to see alter my self-confidence. I think I would’ve been a great companion, but they didn’t, and that’s okay! It doesn’t make them bad people, but I had to recognize that those people weren’t aware of my worth or they just weren’t interested in what I had to offer. This is why I had to server ties with those people regarding any sort of romantic relationship. Some only identified my value as a friend so today I still maintain a platonic relationship with those few, but others I had to completely move on from even though it was difficult.
It’s dangerous to put time and energy into relationships that include people who don’t truly appreciate you. It devalues you! When you allow people to constantly treat you less than what you’re worth you began to take on the attitude and self-awareness of being worth less than you are. If you were to purchase a house you’d want to keep it neat and clean. Why? It’s because you appreciate it, you understand that your property has value so you treat valuably. So why would you allow someone else to come into your house and track mud everywhere? You wouldn’t, and if they did you probably wouldn’t invite them over again. I’ve had to cut certain people off because they not recognize my value and they produced nothing but negative energy. It’s critical that we all take a look at our current relationships and decide if they are worth continuing or not. Continuously associating yourself with people who don’t recognize your value will hinder your growth and progression in life. Keep people around you who see your true value. Those people will love, respect, and challenge you the way you deserve. Don’t be afraid to cut dead weight, your life depends on it!
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FacebookA few weeks ago I posted a blog about dealing with emotional pain (click here to read the blog). In addition to posting that blog on my website I also put a section of it on my Facebook, Instagram and other social media accounts. My goal is always to reach as many people as possible. I want to use my gift to inspire and encourage people who may be going through tough periods in their lives or dealing with difficult situations. I’m no expert on life, but I’ve been told that I have a gift to uplift people when they’re feeling down just by talking and listening. That’s one of the reasons I started blogging and posting my spoken word pieces.
After posting a snippet of the blog on Instagram I came in contact with a girl who posted a heartbreaking video of her cutting herself. The clip caught my attention because in the description she mentioned suicide, death, and pain. To make a long story short, she read my blog and I ended up reaching out and conversing with her on social media. By the end of the conversation she said she was willing to try, I made her feel confident, and that I was very helpful. She even ended up following me from her personal Instagram account (I’m guessing the “suicidal” one was created so that she could remain anonymous and express herself freely). Every once in a while I’ll send her a DM message asking her if everything is ok, and so far she seems to be doing good.
I didn’t share this story because I think that I’m some sort of life guru or Good Samaritan. I wanted to point out the importance of using your gift because it can be used to affect the lives of others. Whether I’m putting a together a spoken word, writing lyrics for a song, typing up a new blog, or giving advice to a friend I can confidently say that I have a gift with words. I am not claiming to be the best; I just know what I have been blessed with. Once I discovered this gift I knew that I wanted to positively impact people with my words in a life changing manner. The Instagram conversation I had with that young lady almost brought me to tears because I was so happy that I was able to have a meaningful impact on her life. That moment was like a dream come true for me.
It is critical that we discover what our gifts are! It’s not only important for you but it’s important for others as well. I’m not saying that you’ll be able to use your gift to change the world in one night but there are individuals who will be impacted by you when your path crosses with theirs. I feel as though my blog served a great purpose because it gave someone who had given up a new confidence. Even if I only encouraged her to get through one day it was worth it. Your gift doesn’t always have to be tangible either. I know there are times when I’m inspired just by watching people handle tough situations in their lives. Think about your idols and those you look up to, because they’ve found their gifts and decided to use them, you have been inspired and/or encouraged. Some of us are who we are today because of those people. Tapping into your gift isn’t just about you! I would even go as far to say that if you’re not tapping into your gift and sharing it then you are being selfish. Find your gift, use your gift in a positive manner, and change someone’s life.
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