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K-Soul

Random thoughts, spoken word, & some humor from K-Soul.

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Stories

My “Crappy” Embarrassment!!

From my Facebook Post Yesterday:

So the most embarrassing thing in my life has just occurred. I’m having a nice time in the hotel lobby with my family on our last night in NY. At the same time another group is having a party. Everyone is coexisting and it’s great. All of a sudden my stomach is like “Bruh we got bizness to take care of”…so I’m like “Bet I know the perfect poop spot I’ve been using it all week and it’s great. It has the perfect lighting, good music, and it’s nice and clean.” I go to the spotand realize the lock is kind of jacked up. I thought “Well no one has been in here all week so…YOLO!” I sit down and assume the position. Everything is going perfect…then one of the other guys from the other party walks in. The rest is a blur but next thing I know….he’s in my stall. He walked in so strongly as if he had a key to the door. That’s right people…my pants are down, my goodies are out, poop is a factor, and I’m making eye contact with a stranger. What was probably 1-2 sec felt like hours. He curses, calls on Jesus, and leaves abruptly. I’m pretty sure I smiled at him…not sure why…wish I could take it back…but it’s out there now. I remember saying “It’s all good!”…Why did I lie? It wasn’t good at all…it was horrifying. I’m now in my room and refuse to leave. Won’t be coming to NY for a while.  ‪#‎whyme‬ ‪#‎iblamesatan‬‪#‎NeverPoopingAgain‬ ‪#‎WhyDidntHeSmellMeBeforeHeWalkedIn‬‪ #‎gottaStartMakingNoisesInTheStall‬

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The Worst Commute Ever!

Just had the worst commute ever! First of all it started raining like God decided to flood the earth again. Thought y’all might have angered him with all the twerk videos and fight compilations some of you post on social media. I got completely soaked. There’s water in my shoes right now!! Let me mention that I had the world’s worst umbrella. It looks like I made it myself. It has bullet holes in it and pieces of metal hanging from the top of it that were tearing my head/hair up. I finally get to the slug line and then it happens, one of the metal pieces decides to cut my finger on my strong hand. I literally threw my umbrella in this guys car and dove in like I just committed a crime and he was driving the getaway car. His face was priceless. Lol So I’m in this guys car trying to figure how to stop the bleeding because I was cut worse than I thought and didn’t want to bleed on his seats. Found some old paper in my backpack and wrapped my finger up the way I think McGuyver would’ve done it. Now I’m wet, wounded, and officially hate my life. Mother Nature wins Monday!

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