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K-Soul

Random thoughts, spoken word, & some humor from K-Soul.

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anger

Patience & Practice Make Perfect

I’ve had many others tell me over the years that I’m an extremely patient person. People have complimented me on my ability to steer through difficult and tense situations with class and calmness even when most wouldn’t blame me for losing my composure. There are some who see my patience as a weakness or as something that allows other to walk all over me. The truth is that it’s one of the hardest things that I’ve had to learn to do. Even today it can be a struggle. In all reality it takes a lot of strength to be patient. Being patient isn’t a natural trait for me. It’s not something I was born with. It’s something that that I had to really WORK towards, it’s something that I had to practice.

We all have different thresholds of tolerance, but most of us claim to be impatient wishing we had more patience.  We have accepted being easily aggravated as part of our personalities and part of what makes us who we are. We want things done quickly, we demand immediate answers, and we think things should be done our way. There are a variety of thing that may set us off. Bad customer service, traffic, being disrespected, or when things don’t go our way. We even converse with other impatient people in order to justify our impatient actions not realizing how damaging it is. Being impatient or the way we deal with it can lead to a lot of negative outcomes.


  1. Health

Impatience can lead to having a lot of anxiety and to being overly and sometimes obliviously hostile. This all causes stress. According to the CDC 110 million people die every year as a direct result of stress. They calculate that to be 7 people every 2 seconds. Not only that but it can lead to weight gain, high blood pressure, and heart attacks.

  1. Socially

Being around impatient people can sometimes be difficult. When someone becomes impatient they become counterproductive, rude, and sometimes just flat out embarrassing to be with.  Impatience causes you to be selfish and dismissive of others. Even today there are certain people that I refuse to do certain things with because I know how impatient they can be and how they react to that impatience. In this way it can ruin relationships in your life. No one wants to be spend time with someone who’s constantly stressed out, hostile, and complains all the time. Also to be candid, sometimes it just makes people look foolish!

  1. Mentally/Personally

When you choose to accept that you’re an impatient person it’s like choosing to think negatively. It can cause you to quit or to give up easily. When you become impatient you become angry and anger causes you to behave and think illogically and irrationally. You may not realize it but impatience is a really dark trait to hold onto. It’s why you hear stories on the news about regular people just completely losing their minds in the spur of a moment and they end up hurting others emotionally and physically. Impatient people can be abusive, mean spirited, and disrespectful.


Once I realized how much of a negative impact being easily irritated could have on my life I realized that I had to do something about it, so I simply just stared trying. I tried my best to be patient and I failed many times. Today I still fail occasionally and lose my patience but I’ve learned that by consistently trying that I was becoming a more and more patient person. I’ve also realized that even when I am impatient I don’t always have to react negatively.

Even though most see me as patient and laid-back from the outside, on the inside sometimes something different is happening.  I can actually be easily frustrated and can be sensitive to the way I’m addressed by others. I get just as annoyed as the next person does. People think I’ve been walking around my whole life being optimistic, when in reality I’ve had to struggle to fight off pessimism. Today I’m still impatient at times but I’m more patient because I put in some hard work to become that person. It didn’t happen overnight, it took time. I also had to be honest with myself realizing that sometimes I’m too impatient. That’s the hard part that most of us don’t want to do. (Becoming the Best Version of You)

Now there are times when being impatient is an appropriate response; I think the same thing about anger. For example I remember when I broke my leg and went to the hospital the doctor and nurses were being lackadaisical about dealing with my injury. My dad became extremely impatient, but while keeping his composure he very sternly demanded that I be moved to a different hospital. His impatience led to me getting better care but realize I said that he kept his composure. Sometimes we think that we have to act out negatively in order to avoid suppressing our feelings or to get our points across when we don’t. There’s more than one way to skin a cat but a lot of the times we choose the hardest way.

If you truly want to become more patient it’s going to take some work and honesty on your part. The next time you get cut off traffic instead of having road rage move on with your life. When you see things aren’t going your way instead of throwing an adult temper tantrum think about possible solutions and remedies. If you experience horrible customer service somewhere instead of cursing someone out just ask for the corporate number and let them know your concerns.  Before snapping at someone find a more effective way to communicate. These alternate reactions will bring more peace and positive energy to your life. The more you practice the more patient you become.

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Pointless Anger: Why are You Mad?

The other week I was sitting in a drive-thru line, it was late and I hadn’t eaten all day so I figured I’d grab something real quick. As I pull up all I hear is yelling, in the car right in front of me there was a lady shouting out of her window cursing and complaining. She was frustrated and angry because the line was moving pretty slow. It was about 1:00am, so I’m guessing she was tired, impatient, and “hangry” at the very least. About 5 minutes after I pulled up behind her it was now her turn to order. Again she began yelling “What’s taking ya’ll so long?…(insert profanity and insults)…This doesn’t make any sense!!” When she’s finish ordering I pull up and began placing my order. She’s still yelling! “Can you believe this!?…(insert additional profanity)…This is ridiculous!” She pretty much yelled and cursed non-stop for the next 15 minutes. There was a point where I thought: “She’s not making the line move any faster, they’re not going to make her food taste any better, and at this point they’re probably ignoring her so why is she yelling?”

We are all human and therefore none of us are perfect. Sometimes we lose our composure, our tempers, and control of our emotions (See “Control” blog). The lady at the drive-thru was unhappy about the “lack of service” she felt she was getting and therefore became livid. Now there’s nothing wrong being angry, although in my personal opinion this was not an “anger worthy” situation, anger is a natural feeling that we have felt and will feel sometime in the future.  It’s inevitable! The issue I had is with how she expressed her anger over something so minuscule and how she allowed it to control her.  She was so mad and didn’t realize how silly she looked and sounded. She didn’t realize that her anger was pointless and counter-productive. She received the same service everyone else in the line got except none of us had to yell and scream to get it. She wasted her energy and had no positive effective on the situation.

A lot of us are too easily angered. The smallest issues make us mad and cause us to have bad days filled with frustration. Anger is a dangerous emotion to lose control of. I rarely get angry but I know that when I do, I become a different person and I do and say a lot of things I normally wouldn’t. In other words anger takes me out of my character. Losing control is a sign of weakness. People have died at the hands of those who couldn’t control their rage and ended up doing something horrible, something that was out of character for them. We see it in the news all the time.  I read an article that mentioned cases where people have murdered people for “unfriending” them on Facebook and even for passing gas. Sounds stupid and senseless right? Well, that’s exactly how losing control of your anger makes you behave.  These acts were sparked by POINTLESS anger that they allowed to control them.

It’s very important that we identify if we need to work on our anger issues or not. I use to get upset very quickly until I started asking myself questions like “Is this really worth being angry about?” or “How does being pissed off fix the situation?” I’ve seen people become irate so often that it not only controls them in those moments but it begins to control them in their everyday lives. Most of time you’re only hurting yourself and the people you’re mad at aren’t losing any sleep over your anger. Do you really want to give someone that power over you? Anger is not only bad for you emotionally and spiritually but also affects you physically. There’s a time to be angry, but don’t let in control you when you should be the one controlling it.

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The Girl Who Couldn’t Be Broken – Spoken Word

This is a true story! Sexual abuse is such a huge issue that’s rarely addressed. Anyone that has experienced anything like this I hope this encourages you to conquer that pain that someone caused you.  LIKE, SHARE, & LEAVE A COMMENT!

 

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