Random thoughts, spoken word, & some humor from K-Soul.



Becoming The Best Version Of You!

I think sometimes we become way to self-centered in our lives, which leads to having fixed perspectives and being opinionated. We get to a place in our lives where we think and behave a certain way and have accepted that this is just who we are. I’m all about self-acceptance and self-love. I think it’s a beautiful thing when someone truly loves themselves, can accept all of their imperfections, and can live their life with self-confidence. However, I think at times we become so assured and comfortable with who we are that we forget that there’s room to grow. 

No one is perfect. The fact is sometimes we’re wrong even when all of our live we’ve always thought we were right.  We can’t be so set in our ways and in our views that we can’t improve on the individuals we are. Loving and accepting yourself is great but sometimes you have to be able to analyze who you are as a person to really understand who it is that you’re deciding to love. If I’m a selfish and rude person who “accepts me for who I am” then how can I progress and become a better person? We are living in a time when everyone wants to “keep it 100” and/or be honest with everyone but themselves. Some also don’t like when others respectfully correct them because they confuse that humbling feeling with belittlement or thinking that someone is “hating” on them.  We’re to prideful to admit that at times we are the ones in error. Sometimes we are the problem, sometimes we’re horrible people, sometime we’re the bad guys but we aren’t humble enough to realize that. People don’t get stuck in their ways because they become older in age, people get stuck in their ways because they’ve never learned how to adapt and evolve as individuals.

I’ve mentioned in some of my older blogs that I have trust issues (See “Trust” blog). There was a time when I would tell you that I’m not a trusting person and that’s just who am so take or leave it. I knew that was no way to live and that I needed to change. I had to go through some personal growth in order to allow myself to trust again. I had to change who I was and go through some growing pains. Although I’ve learned from my past experiences and still keep a guard up because that’s a wise thing to do, I’ve learned to trust again. I’m nowhere near perfect and still have some growing to do but I’m humble enough to recognize that.  I saw that the person I was needed to be upgraded to something better and sought to make that happen.

Don’t be afraid to look for flaws in your character. It’s not a matter of experiencing a guilt trip but rather figuring out how to become the best version of you.

As a spoken word artist and a musician I love what I do and have confidence in my abilities, but I still go back and watch my videos to see what I can improve on. Why? Because I want to become better and improve on my skills. It’s the same thing with who you are and how you develop as a person. Look at the way you think, the way you treat others, the decision you make in life, and so forth. Take a step back and see if there are areas in your life that you can improve in. You can do this while still loving yourself and being happy with you are. When you take hold of this mentality the person you are today will always be better than the person you were yesterday.

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Colonel Sanders Failed – Spoken Word

Check out this week’s spoken word about failing! Don’t forget to COMMENT, SHARE, & FOLLOW MY BLOG!

Pointless Anger: Why are You Mad?

The other week I was sitting in a drive-thru line, it was late and I hadn’t eaten all day so I figured I’d grab something real quick. As I pull up all I hear is yelling, in the car right in front of me there was a lady shouting out of her window cursing and complaining. She was frustrated and angry because the line was moving pretty slow. It was about 1:00am, so I’m guessing she was tired, impatient, and “hangry” at the very least. About 5 minutes after I pulled up behind her it was now her turn to order. Again she began yelling “What’s taking ya’ll so long?…(insert profanity and insults)…This doesn’t make any sense!!” When she’s finish ordering I pull up and began placing my order. She’s still yelling! “Can you believe this!?…(insert additional profanity)…This is ridiculous!” She pretty much yelled and cursed non-stop for the next 15 minutes. There was a point where I thought: “She’s not making the line move any faster, they’re not going to make her food taste any better, and at this point they’re probably ignoring her so why is she yelling?”

We are all human and therefore none of us are perfect. Sometimes we lose our composure, our tempers, and control of our emotions (See “Control” blog). The lady at the drive-thru was unhappy about the “lack of service” she felt she was getting and therefore became livid. Now there’s nothing wrong being angry, although in my personal opinion this was not an “anger worthy” situation, anger is a natural feeling that we have felt and will feel sometime in the future.  It’s inevitable! The issue I had is with how she expressed her anger over something so minuscule and how she allowed it to control her.  She was so mad and didn’t realize how silly she looked and sounded. She didn’t realize that her anger was pointless and counter-productive. She received the same service everyone else in the line got except none of us had to yell and scream to get it. She wasted her energy and had no positive effective on the situation.

A lot of us are too easily angered. The smallest issues make us mad and cause us to have bad days filled with frustration. Anger is a dangerous emotion to lose control of. I rarely get angry but I know that when I do, I become a different person and I do and say a lot of things I normally wouldn’t. In other words anger takes me out of my character. Losing control is a sign of weakness. People have died at the hands of those who couldn’t control their rage and ended up doing something horrible, something that was out of character for them. We see it in the news all the time.  I read an article that mentioned cases where people have murdered people for “unfriending” them on Facebook and even for passing gas. Sounds stupid and senseless right? Well, that’s exactly how losing control of your anger makes you behave.  These acts were sparked by POINTLESS anger that they allowed to control them.

It’s very important that we identify if we need to work on our anger issues or not. I use to get upset very quickly until I started asking myself questions like “Is this really worth being angry about?” or “How does being pissed off fix the situation?” I’ve seen people become irate so often that it not only controls them in those moments but it begins to control them in their everyday lives. Most of time you’re only hurting yourself and the people you’re mad at aren’t losing any sleep over your anger. Do you really want to give someone that power over you? Anger is not only bad for you emotionally and spiritually but also affects you physically. There’s a time to be angry, but don’t let in control you when you should be the one controlling it.

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Where Is Your Mindset Taking You?

During the past couple of months my thinking and outlook on life has changed significantly. I’ve been determined to achieve a lot of artistic goals and life goals that I have set for myself. I’ve been reading a lot and speaking to others who are both wiser and more knowledgeable than I am. I make sure I stay in constant contact with these people and friends who are just as motivated and as hungry to succeed as I am. They help shape the mentality I have. I truly believe that one of the most important tools for moving towards achieving greatness is knowing how and when to change your mindset.

 I have such a strong burning desire to have a positive impact on others! That desire fuels the passion you see in my work when I put together these spoken word videos, write blogs, or put out any other content on my website. I have a heart to inspire, motivated, and speak truth to as many people as I possibly can while I’m still breathing. Having passion is great but it’s nothing without the right mindset.

I’ve been doing spoken word and music for a number of years now. It’s something I always loved doing but never fully committed to it. I’ve had some epic moments in my spoken word/music career but I always treated it like a hobby. It was just something I would do when I had time to or if an opportunity happened to cross my path. Well I realized I was cheating myself and also cheating others out of experiencing my gift at its full potential (Check out “Gifts” blog). I became aware that I should be chasing my dreams instead of waiting for things to happen for me. I had to change my way of thinking, and fast. Once I went through that transformation, not only did I see myself growing but more opportunities began to come my way.

 I’m nowhere near where I want to be but I can say today that I’m definitely on the right path and in a better position to achieve my goals. It all started with deciding to renew my mind. I think differently than before therefore I now operate differently. Instead waiting to be given a platform to touch people with my spoken word I created my own. I started this website and revamped my YouTube channel along with my other social media accounts I have (Check Them Out Here!). I now write a piece every week, memorize it, record it, and then release it on Mondays. I also challenged myself to write a blog about whatever is in my heart and on my mind every Thursday/Friday. It’s hard work and can be difficult at times but I refuse to let that deter me. My old mindset would have been looking to take a week or two off or convince myself that I didn’t need to do this much work. My new mindset wants to keep pushing, wants to grow and evolve, and is always ready to work harder and smarter. This newly found mind frame of mine has already begun to benefit me and will eventually pay off the way I want it to.
 It’s critical that we take time to analyze our way of thinking. We have to make sure we are working with a mindset that will lead us to success. This requires us to be humble. If we are too prideful and stubborn to change, we can never evolve.  A lot of poor people who later become millionaires gain that wealth because somewhere during their journey they allowed their thinking to change and progress. I read “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” by Robert Kiyosaki and in the book they explain how two people viewed and handled money differently based on their mentalities. One person ended up wealthy and one ended up with debt; two hard-working people who had two different mindsets and because of that they ended up in different places in their lives. Don’t be afraid to change, don’t be afraid to questions yourself, the way your mind functions will determine where you end up in life.
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Controlling the “Uncontrollable” – Emotions

There are a lot of us that have experienced riding an emotional roller coaster for various reasons. Sometimes life comes at you so hard that all you want to do is scream, cry, break something, or worse. These emotional hurricanes can be caused by situations, people, and to be completely honestly sometimes we are just overly emotional. Either way, the point is that we’ve all been there and will more than likely end up there again at some point in our lives. It’s ok to be emotional but I want to talk about staying in control while dealing with these feelings.

We all react differently to these overwhelming waves of emotion. I tend to shut down and keep things to myself. It may not be the best way to handle things, but it’s what I’ve been doing for so long. There are times when I reach out to family or friends for help and guidance but most of the time I deal with everything on my own. I don’t recommend doing that!! It’s something I’m trying to change. I have a friend who is always telling me I should be more open versus keeping everything bottled in. (You’re right Faith!) We’ll save that discussion for another blog though. Another friend of mine normally loses her temper and ceases to think rationally. She’s even had to go to court and take an anger management class as a result of losing control of herself. When we lose control we put ourselves at risk to do something that we will later regret. That’s what happens with crimes of passion.

Losing control of who you are due to the strong feelings you encounter can be dangerous. We literally become different people when we experience strong anger, intense hurt, unbearable embarrassment, deep depression and a long list of other emotions.  We get so caught up in the moment that we react without thinking. Before I mentioned that I usually keep a lot of issues pinned up inside me. The problem with that is we can potentially end up keeping so much to ourselves that we eventually explode and lose restraint. It’s important to deal with our feelings while staying in control.

Dealing with our emotions is always a little tricky. We all think differently and are affected by our feelings in unique ways, but learning to control ourselves when we are overcome with extreme emotions is something we all need to do. It’s okay to be emotional but we have to train our minds to handle these sensations in practical ways. Whether it’s venting to someone, exercising, or walking away from a situation, we have to learn to maintain our composures. The more we control ourselves, the more it becomes a second nature reaction for us. No one is perfect, but it’s not about being flawless, it’s about trying.  

I know there are a lot of people who have experiences tougher situations in life than I have, but regardless I want to challenge you to find out what works for you! The next time you feel unbearably emotional find a way to maintain a rational mindset as well as your character. Do not let your emotions cause you to change in a negative way. Train your mindset to solve problems and deal with situations head on. Be bigger than how you feel and stay in control. This is how we are able to become mentally fit and survive through adversity. The key to sustaining control is having a strong mind!

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Make Sure They Know Your Value!

Our lives are made up of various relationships. They include family, friends, significant others, spouses, business partnerships, etc. These relationships play a significant part in defining who we are and who we are becoming every day. As human beings we are born with a natural desire to be in these relationships and therefore we tend to seek them out. Honestly we need them. We need these connections and associations in order to have a good support system, to be loved, to love, to help us grow, and for many other important reasons. The issue is that we often fail to realize is how important these relationships are to our individual growth and therefore end up being a part of some toxic ones that we are afraid to let go of.

In any relationship there comes a point in time when sit back and analyze it. We want to know how a certain bond has affected our lives. Is it healthy or unhealthy? Is it a blessing or a curse? We want to be sure we are getting back the same type of energy that we are putting into it. (See My Energy Blog) I’m writing this because I want to encourage you to build relationships with people who recognize your value!

A few weeks ago I posted a spoken word about relationship experiences I’ve had in my search for “real love” (Check it out here). Those potential relationships weren’t successful with those ladies because they didn’t see or recognize any value in me as a potential boyfriend. As harsh as that may sound, it’s simply the truth. After watching those potential relationships die I realized a lot of self-doubt was filling up inside of me because I began to take on the perspectives of those who didn’t see the value that I once saw in myself. I had to realize that I can’t let what others fail to see alter my self-confidence. I think I would’ve been a great companion, but they didn’t, and that’s okay! It doesn’t make them bad people, but I had to recognize that those people weren’t aware of my worth or they just weren’t interested in what I had to offer. This is why I had to server ties with those people regarding any sort of romantic relationship. Some only identified my value as a friend so today I still maintain a platonic relationship with those few, but others I had to completely move on from even though it was difficult.

It’s dangerous to put time and energy into relationships that include people who don’t truly appreciate you. It devalues you! When you allow people to constantly treat you less than what you’re worth you began to take on the attitude and self-awareness of being worth less than you are. If you were to purchase a house you’d want to keep it neat and clean. Why? It’s because you appreciate it, you understand that your property has value so you treat valuably. So why would you allow someone else to come into your house and track mud everywhere? You wouldn’t, and if they did you probably wouldn’t invite them over again. I’ve had to cut certain people off because they not recognize my value and they produced nothing but negative energy. It’s critical that we all take a look at our current relationships and decide if they are worth continuing or not. Continuously associating yourself with people who don’t recognize your value will hinder your growth and progression in life. Keep people around you who see your true value. Those people will love, respect, and challenge you the way you deserve. Don’t be afraid to cut dead weight, your life depends on it!

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Conquer Self-Doubt: Spoken Word

A spoken word piece encouraging you to conquer self-doubt so that you can experience the greatness inside of you!

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Yesterday Is Dead – Spoken Word

A spoken about moving forward and no longer living in the past! Be encouraged! COMMENT & SHARE!! I want to hear from you!

The Importance of Being Alone

When I was younger it would really bother me when my friends would cancel the plans they had with me. I’ve always been the type to get excited about upcoming plans I had with people I enjoyed spending time with, especially if it was a girl I was interested in. I have a sister who lives in Richmond and I remember making plans with her to go on a cruise a year in advance. I would tell her how excited I was at least once a month prior to actually going on the trip. Lol. Anyway, whenever friends would change their plans on me I would walk around the house moping. My dad would ask me “what’s wrong?” and I would tell him about how disappointed I was now that I couldn’t do what I was planning to do. He would always tell me to just go by myself. This was around my first or second year of high school so I’m thinking “Is he crazy?….I don’t want to look like a loser without friends!” I didn’t know it then, but my dad was teaching me a very important lesson.

My dad challenged me to spend a “night on the town” by myself at least once. I accepted that challenge! I remember taking myself to dinner and a movie one evening. I’m pretty sure it was a Friday night and I recall a bunch of other groups of friends being out and about having a great time and there I was sitting at a table by myself playing with my phone. I kept hoping no one I knew would see me and that I wouldn’t see any attractive girls because I thought it would be embarrassing. Being alone felt weird, foreign, and uncomfortable but I chose to fight through it to prove to my father that I wasn’t afraid to do things by myself. As the evening progressed I found myself becoming more and more comfortable, I actually began to enjoy my time. I people watched, did a lot of thinking, I relaxed, but most importantly I gained a new sense of confidence in myself.

After that night I promised myself that every once in a while I would “date me”. Even today from time to time I enjoy going to the movies or trying new things alone. I realized it was opportunity to discover what I liked without any outside influence. It helped me build confidence and eliminate insecurities, it showed me how to move forward even when people aren’t willing to move with you. I didn’t realize it then but the lesson I learned on that evening alone was critical to the person I am today.

I think it’s important to learn how to be happy being alone. Being alone isn’t the same as being lonely. As a matter of fact if you can master being alone I’m confident that it will minimize the “lonely feeling” many of us have experienced. Too many of us miss out on opportunities and fall into bad relationships because we fear being alone. The best way to conquer fear is to face it. Force yourself to spend time alone. Go see a movie, try a new restaurant, travel, or take a mini road trip, etc. I’ve done all of these things and believe that I am a better person because of it. Being alone is mostly perceived as a negative position to be in. I don’t agree with that. I think that being alone is an important part of developing your individuality. It supports you in becoming self-sufficient, self-loving, and self-relying. Having friends is very important. I think everyone needs friends and family, but I think it’s just as important to discover how important you are to yourself.


Be Prepared…For Real Love!

A spoken word about my personal experiences with relationships and love. Let’s be patient and not be discouraged. Check it out and let me know what you think. I want to hear from you! LIKE, COMMENT, SHARE!! (Follow me on social media)

Pain? Pshh….Bring it On!

You know what really sucks? Pain! I’m not talking about physical pain though; I’m referring to emotional hurt. Whether we like to admit it or not, we’ve all experienced disappointment, having our feelings hurt, being rejected, hurt pride, etc. Maybe you really believed in a passionate idea you had and it didn’t work out. Maybe that person that you’ve liked for a while turned you down and started dating someone else. Maybe you really looked up to someone and they let you down. Maybe you’ve been lied to, cheated on, played for a fool, I could go on with countless examples but I think you get the point. We hate how we feel when going through situations that cause us pain and hurt and therefore do everything we can to avoid them.

Since this is my blog I’ll go ahead and admit that I feel like I’ve experienced quite a bit of emotional pain in my life. Now before I go on, let me say that my life is far from the worst and I’m not about to tell you some super sad story that’ll have you tearing up like the end of Toy Story 3. I know that I am truly blessed and won’t complain about my life. That being said, the pain I’ve experienced has come from different situations in my life that I know a lot of you have been through as well. I’ve had a close friend date and sleep with “the girl of my dreams”, I’ve been led on just to be let down, I’ve been rejected repeatedly, I’ve failed, I’ve been cheated on, I’ve been lied to, I even had one girl deny that we were together to someone else because I no longer fit the image of a “cool” boyfriend. Each time I felt pain from these situations I always found myself shutting down and feeling depressed. I didn’t really tell people how I felt. I pretended nothing bothered me, that I was happy, and just absorbed the blows. Even now it’s hard for me to express my feelings because I’m so used to handling it on my own. I would always think “What’s wrong with me?” or “What I am doing wrong?” after ending up in similar situations.

As I get older and gain more experience I’ve come to realize that this whole time I was looking at pain the wrong way.

You probably know this but feeling emotional hurt is normal and natural (Yes even for us men!), it’s something we all go through. Matter of fact without experiencing the pain I’ve felt I would not be the person I am today. It’s like working out at the gym. When I lift with some of my close friends (shout out EJ and Kendrick) and we always challenge each other to lift heavier than we did before. The next day or two I’m always soar and hurting but when I go to lift that same amount of weight again, it’s a little easier. I’ve learned that ME + PAIN = GROWTH! Without my painful experiences I could not have grown into who I am at this very moment. I’ve learned to let toxic people go, to be humble, to be assertive, to walk away, to keep certain people at a distance, not to judge and to choose carefully who I allow to be a part of my life. All of these lessons are the results of me feeling pain.

Today, whenever I experience pain, the feeling sucks but I can’t help but look for the new lesson(s) I’ve learned from it. No one enjoys feeling pain but we have to realize that we have to go through it, and not just go through it but see the value in it. I hate pain but I love the lessons I continue to learn from it. I can tell you that I am no longer afraid of pain. I no longer play the victim to pain. I use pain to evolve and conquer. Pain, if you can hear me…..Bring it on!

Trust Issues Are Your Responsibility

I was talking to a friend of mine this morning about how I feel like you can’t really trust people the way you want to. I feel like so many people seek relationships and connections that only benefit them. I’m referring to any type of relationship whether platonic, romantic, or even family. People are always looking for what THEY can get out of it. I believe that’s why so many relationships don’t work out. 

It boils down to two main things…pride and selfishness. We’re too prideful to recognize our faults, to attempt to change for the better, and to realize that sometimes we are the problem. We love posting quotes like “Accept me for who I am” not realizing we may be horrible people. We’re too selfish and become consumed with what we can get out of a relationship and forget that a relationship requires us to give as well. 

Our generation celebrates memes that show relationship goals as two perfect looking people with matching Jordans and tattoos instead of people with matching focused mindsets. Our generation celebrates physical attractiveness without looking at the heart of a person. I think we forget that “looks” are temporary. Physical attributes have become the main standard while someone’s character has become negotiable and leaves us willing to compromise. I see it all the time. We say “I love you” without the action to back it up. We don’t commit, praise “not catching feelings”, and look at sex as recreational act. No wonder we have some many trust issues. 

No one’s perfect but it’s YOUR responsibility to analyze your relationships (new and old) to protect yourself from heart ache. It’s YOUR responsibility to honestly look at yourself to see if you’re the issues. Its YOUR responsibility to determine if you’re not getting back the same energy you put into a relationship and do something about it (Check out my “Energy” blog). We have to stop playing the victim and start taking control. The unfortunate reality is that you simply cannot trust too freely.

Don’t forget to leave a comment! I want to know your thoughts on this!

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