Check out my new series on YouTube where I actually propose to my girlfriend in front of Niagara Falls. Enjoy and don’t forget to subscribe!
This is a follow up spoken word to the first “Dear Ladies” video I posted about a year ago. Click here to watch the first video: Dear Ladies Part 1
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I’ve had many others tell me over the years that I’m an extremely patient person. People have complimented me on my ability to steer through difficult and tense situations with class and calmness even when most wouldn’t blame me for losing my composure. There are some who see my patience as a weakness or as something that allows other to walk all over me. The truth is that it’s one of the hardest things that I’ve had to learn to do. Even today it can be a struggle. In all reality it takes a lot of strength to be patient. Being patient isn’t a natural trait for me. It’s not something I was born with. It’s something that that I had to really WORK towards, it’s something that I had to practice.
We all have different thresholds of tolerance, but most of us claim to be impatient wishing we had more patience. We have accepted being easily aggravated as part of our personalities and part of what makes us who we are. We want things done quickly, we demand immediate answers, and we think things should be done our way. There are a variety of thing that may set us off. Bad customer service, traffic, being disrespected, or when things don’t go our way. We even converse with other impatient people in order to justify our impatient actions not realizing how damaging it is. Being impatient or the way we deal with it can lead to a lot of negative outcomes.
Impatience can lead to having a lot of anxiety and to being overly and sometimes obliviously hostile. This all causes stress. According to the CDC 110 million people die every year as a direct result of stress. They calculate that to be 7 people every 2 seconds. Not only that but it can lead to weight gain, high blood pressure, and heart attacks.
Being around impatient people can sometimes be difficult. When someone becomes impatient they become counterproductive, rude, and sometimes just flat out embarrassing to be with. Impatience causes you to be selfish and dismissive of others. Even today there are certain people that I refuse to do certain things with because I know how impatient they can be and how they react to that impatience. In this way it can ruin relationships in your life. No one wants to be spend time with someone who’s constantly stressed out, hostile, and complains all the time. Also to be candid, sometimes it just makes people look foolish!
When you choose to accept that you’re an impatient person it’s like choosing to think negatively. It can cause you to quit or to give up easily. When you become impatient you become angry and anger causes you to behave and think illogically and irrationally. You may not realize it but impatience is a really dark trait to hold onto. It’s why you hear stories on the news about regular people just completely losing their minds in the spur of a moment and they end up hurting others emotionally and physically. Impatient people can be abusive, mean spirited, and disrespectful.
Once I realized how much of a negative impact being easily irritated could have on my life I realized that I had to do something about it, so I simply just stared trying. I tried my best to be patient and I failed many times. Today I still fail occasionally and lose my patience but I’ve learned that by consistently trying that I was becoming a more and more patient person. I’ve also realized that even when I am impatient I don’t always have to react negatively.
Even though most see me as patient and laid-back from the outside, on the inside sometimes something different is happening. I can actually be easily frustrated and can be sensitive to the way I’m addressed by others. I get just as annoyed as the next person does. People think I’ve been walking around my whole life being optimistic, when in reality I’ve had to struggle to fight off pessimism. Today I’m still impatient at times but I’m more patient because I put in some hard work to become that person. It didn’t happen overnight, it took time. I also had to be honest with myself realizing that sometimes I’m too impatient. That’s the hard part that most of us don’t want to do. (Becoming the Best Version of You)
Now there are times when being impatient is an appropriate response; I think the same thing about anger. For example I remember when I broke my leg and went to the hospital the doctor and nurses were being lackadaisical about dealing with my injury. My dad became extremely impatient, but while keeping his composure he very sternly demanded that I be moved to a different hospital. His impatience led to me getting better care but realize I said that he kept his composure. Sometimes we think that we have to act out negatively in order to avoid suppressing our feelings or to get our points across when we don’t. There’s more than one way to skin a cat but a lot of the times we choose the hardest way.
If you truly want to become more patient it’s going to take some work and honesty on your part. The next time you get cut off traffic instead of having road rage move on with your life. When you see things aren’t going your way instead of throwing an adult temper tantrum think about possible solutions and remedies. If you experience horrible customer service somewhere instead of cursing someone out just ask for the corporate number and let them know your concerns. Before snapping at someone find a more effective way to communicate. These alternate reactions will bring more peace and positive energy to your life. The more you practice the more patient you become.
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There are a lot of us that have experienced riding an emotional roller coaster for various reasons. Sometimes life comes at you so hard that all you want to do is scream, cry, break something, or worse. These emotional hurricanes can be caused by situations, people, and to be completely honestly sometimes we are just overly emotional. Either way, the point is that we’ve all been there and will more than likely end up there again at some point in our lives. It’s ok to be emotional but I want to talk about staying in control while dealing with these feelings.
We all react differently to these overwhelming waves of emotion. I tend to shut down and keep things to myself. It may not be the best way to handle things, but it’s what I’ve been doing for so long. There are times when I reach out to family or friends for help and guidance but most of the time I deal with everything on my own. I don’t recommend doing that!! It’s something I’m trying to change. I have a friend who is always telling me I should be more open versus keeping everything bottled in. (You’re right Faith!) We’ll save that discussion for another blog though. Another friend of mine normally loses her temper and ceases to think rationally. She’s even had to go to court and take an anger management class as a result of losing control of herself. When we lose control we put ourselves at risk to do something that we will later regret. That’s what happens with crimes of passion.
Losing control of who you are due to the strong feelings you encounter can be dangerous. We literally become different people when we experience strong anger, intense hurt, unbearable embarrassment, deep depression and a long list of other emotions. We get so caught up in the moment that we react without thinking. Before I mentioned that I usually keep a lot of issues pinned up inside me. The problem with that is we can potentially end up keeping so much to ourselves that we eventually explode and lose restraint. It’s important to deal with our feelings while staying in control.
Dealing with our emotions is always a little tricky. We all think differently and are affected by our feelings in unique ways, but learning to control ourselves when we are overcome with extreme emotions is something we all need to do. It’s okay to be emotional but we have to train our minds to handle these sensations in practical ways. Whether it’s venting to someone, exercising, or walking away from a situation, we have to learn to maintain our composures. The more we control ourselves, the more it becomes a second nature reaction for us. No one is perfect, but it’s not about being flawless, it’s about trying.
I know there are a lot of people who have experiences tougher situations in life than I have, but regardless I want to challenge you to find out what works for you! The next time you feel unbearably emotional find a way to maintain a rational mindset as well as your character. Do not let your emotions cause you to change in a negative way. Train your mindset to solve problems and deal with situations head on. Be bigger than how you feel and stay in control. This is how we are able to become mentally fit and survive through adversity. The key to sustaining control is having a strong mind!
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