Check out my new series on YouTube where I actually propose to my girlfriend in front of Niagara Falls. Enjoy and don’t forget to subscribe!
This is a spoken word video about the importance of using your gifts and not dismissing your passions. Check it out and leave a comment! Don’t forget to subscribe!!
A spoken word I put together in order to honor single mother and everything they do for their children! Don’t forget to SHARE and sign up to FOLLOW my blog!
As a guy who has been single for years now I can tell you that I’ve experienced a lot of frustration and disappointment with dating and “talking to” women. (Some Of My Experiences) I know I’m not alone in having these ill feeling towards dating. Sometimes the negative energy from those frustrations stays with you as you carry them into the next potential relationship. Although you may believe the way you feel is justified because of what you’ve been through we still have to be careful not to let the past force us to pre-label people and relationships. These are all learning experiences that teach us to better guard ourselves moving forward. We just have to make sure we aren’t taking that negative energy with us as we move on.
The reality is you will date people who suck. Sorry, but that’s life ladies and gentleman. We are living in a time when “Netflix and Chill”, having side pieces, and casual sex are widely accepted as part of the dating culture. You will date people who will string you along until they find something “better”. You will end up caring about someone more than they care about you. You will date people who will make you think it’s exclusive while they are dating others behind your back. You will discover that people don’t truly value you or your time. You’ll run into people who sleep around, who are dishonest, rude, selfish, and bunch of other attributes that will leave you feeling like you should just give up. Although feeling that way is natural, it’s no way to think while dating.
A lot of the time we leave these relationships or potential relationships with thoughts like: “All women are/All men are (Insert negative adjective here). For example, I know that I have trust issues because I’ve been lied to and played before so I’m often scared to get too close. I also don’t like discussing my feelings because in the back of my head I’m always thinking it’ll be used against me or that things won’t work out anyway so what’s the point. I know that it’s okay to guard my heart more effectively based on my past experiences, that’s what we’re supposed to do, but I also know that I can’t enter into new relationships not trusting people and not being open because successful relationships have a foundation of trust and good communication. We have to try our best to just get over it. I know it’s not easy but we have to try anyways. Today I’m not as “overly guarded” as I used to be, but I’m still a work in progress.
A while back I wrote a blog about ending up with regrets versus failing. (Check It Out Here) We have to apply that same type of logic to our dating lives. Failed attempts at finding a potential significant other can be discouraging and disheartening but at least you tried. Don’t become so bitter to point that you end up alone regretting that you didn’t keep pushing. Don’t become so heartless that you began using others the way you’ve been used. Don’t award the people who suck the power to take you off your original path to find an authentic and sincere love. Despite what A LOT of people may claim you won’t find a bunch of genuine people waiting around the corner for you. People like that are rare! The truth is that it’s supposed to be hard to find a real and unconditional type of love because if you could find it with just anybody, it wouldn’t be special.
Dating may suck for you right now but whether you know it or not, it’s preparing you for your future relationship. The one you’ve been looking for. It’s molding you into a certain type a person. It’s necessary to help you discover what kind of relationship you want and need. Just make sure you walk away from the bad relationships with the positive lesson and not the negative energy. That negative energy causes negative thinking that only hurts you!
DON’T FORGET TO FOLLOW ME! LIKE, SHARE & COMMENT! I want to hear from you!
Our lives are made up of various relationships. They include family, friends, significant others, spouses, business partnerships, etc. These relationships play a significant part in defining who we are and who we are becoming every day. As human beings we are born with a natural desire to be in these relationships and therefore we tend to seek them out. Honestly we need them. We need these connections and associations in order to have a good support system, to be loved, to love, to help us grow, and for many other important reasons. The issue is that we often fail to realize is how important these relationships are to our individual growth and therefore end up being a part of some toxic ones that we are afraid to let go of.
In any relationship there comes a point in time when sit back and analyze it. We want to know how a certain bond has affected our lives. Is it healthy or unhealthy? Is it a blessing or a curse? We want to be sure we are getting back the same type of energy that we are putting into it. (See My Energy Blog) I’m writing this because I want to encourage you to build relationships with people who recognize your value!
A few weeks ago I posted a spoken word about relationship experiences I’ve had in my search for “real love” (Check it out here). Those potential relationships weren’t successful with those ladies because they didn’t see or recognize any value in me as a potential boyfriend. As harsh as that may sound, it’s simply the truth. After watching those potential relationships die I realized a lot of self-doubt was filling up inside of me because I began to take on the perspectives of those who didn’t see the value that I once saw in myself. I had to realize that I can’t let what others fail to see alter my self-confidence. I think I would’ve been a great companion, but they didn’t, and that’s okay! It doesn’t make them bad people, but I had to recognize that those people weren’t aware of my worth or they just weren’t interested in what I had to offer. This is why I had to server ties with those people regarding any sort of romantic relationship. Some only identified my value as a friend so today I still maintain a platonic relationship with those few, but others I had to completely move on from even though it was difficult.
It’s dangerous to put time and energy into relationships that include people who don’t truly appreciate you. It devalues you! When you allow people to constantly treat you less than what you’re worth you began to take on the attitude and self-awareness of being worth less than you are. If you were to purchase a house you’d want to keep it neat and clean. Why? It’s because you appreciate it, you understand that your property has value so you treat valuably. So why would you allow someone else to come into your house and track mud everywhere? You wouldn’t, and if they did you probably wouldn’t invite them over again. I’ve had to cut certain people off because they not recognize my value and they produced nothing but negative energy. It’s critical that we all take a look at our current relationships and decide if they are worth continuing or not. Continuously associating yourself with people who don’t recognize your value will hinder your growth and progression in life. Keep people around you who see your true value. Those people will love, respect, and challenge you the way you deserve. Don’t be afraid to cut dead weight, your life depends on it!
LIKE, SHARE, & COMMENT! I want to hear you thoughts and opinions!
I was talking to one of my married friends who’s always giving me advice in order to prep me for that one day that I MAY/POSSIBLY get married. He said one of the realest statements I’ve heard in a while. He said “The person you are now is the person you will be when you end up in a relationship!” Man! That makes perfect sense! We all know people can change but we also know that change takes time. Make sure you take a hard look at yourself before searching for “the one”….and make sure you even look at “the one” before awarding them that position in your life. I’m not talking about being perfect but more so if you can be a better communicator, be willing to compromise, if you’re selfish or not, if you have issues committing, being a good listener…you know the basic relationship ingredients people always talk about. I’m nowhere near an expert when it comes to relationships but 90% of my friends are married and constantly giving me advice like this and it’s working for them.
Before a person becomes a doctor there are certain things they have to learn, steps they have to take and experiences they have to encounter before they are ready and prepared to be doctors. It’s the same thing for us singles. We must go through certain situations and learn from them, we have to take time to take an honest look at ourselves and make changes that help us become better suited for that relationship we want to have. We have to prepare! Just like you would prepare for a job interview or a presentation, prepare yourself for the marriage that you want….if that’s what you’re looking for of course.
My friend who inspired this post is Jeremy Caruthers (that’s him and his wife in the picture). Follow his blog as well for some good inspiration. (Jeremy’s Blog)
LIKE, SHARE, COMMENT….I want to know your thoughts on this!
A song I started working on and never finished! Let me know what you think.
View this post on Instagram
Working on some music! It's been a while! Let me know what you think! #KSoul #spreadlove #WeNeedMoreLove #more #Love #music #melodies #talent #dmvartist #orginalmusic #inspiration #positivevibes #singer #singing #vocals #harmonies #justalittle #recording #diy #musicislife #musicismylife #creative #innovation #poet #passion #ksoulmusic