This is a follow up spoken word to the first “Dear Ladies” video I posted about a year ago. Click here to watch the first video: Dear Ladies Part 1
I’ve had many others tell me over the years that I’m an extremely patient person. People have complimented me on my ability to steer through difficult and tense situations with class and calmness even when most wouldn’t blame me for losing my composure. There are some who see my patience as a weakness or as something that allows other to walk all over me. The truth is that it’s one of the hardest things that I’ve had to learn to do. Even today it can be a struggle. In all reality it takes a lot of strength to be patient. Being patient isn’t a natural trait for me. It’s not something I was born with. It’s something that that I had to really WORK towards, it’s something that I had to practice.
We all have different thresholds of tolerance, but most of us claim to be impatient wishing we had more patience. We have accepted being easily aggravated as part of our personalities and part of what makes us who we are. We want things done quickly, we demand immediate answers, and we think things should be done our way. There are a variety of thing that may set us off. Bad customer service, traffic, being disrespected, or when things don’t go our way. We even converse with other impatient people in order to justify our impatient actions not realizing how damaging it is. Being impatient or the way we deal with it can lead to a lot of negative outcomes.
Impatience can lead to having a lot of anxiety and to being overly and sometimes obliviously hostile. This all causes stress. According to the CDC 110 million people die every year as a direct result of stress. They calculate that to be 7 people every 2 seconds. Not only that but it can lead to weight gain, high blood pressure, and heart attacks.
Being around impatient people can sometimes be difficult. When someone becomes impatient they become counterproductive, rude, and sometimes just flat out embarrassing to be with. Impatience causes you to be selfish and dismissive of others. Even today there are certain people that I refuse to do certain things with because I know how impatient they can be and how they react to that impatience. In this way it can ruin relationships in your life. No one wants to be spend time with someone who’s constantly stressed out, hostile, and complains all the time. Also to be candid, sometimes it just makes people look foolish!
When you choose to accept that you’re an impatient person it’s like choosing to think negatively. It can cause you to quit or to give up easily. When you become impatient you become angry and anger causes you to behave and think illogically and irrationally. You may not realize it but impatience is a really dark trait to hold onto. It’s why you hear stories on the news about regular people just completely losing their minds in the spur of a moment and they end up hurting others emotionally and physically. Impatient people can be abusive, mean spirited, and disrespectful.
Once I realized how much of a negative impact being easily irritated could have on my life I realized that I had to do something about it, so I simply just stared trying. I tried my best to be patient and I failed many times. Today I still fail occasionally and lose my patience but I’ve learned that by consistently trying that I was becoming a more and more patient person. I’ve also realized that even when I am impatient I don’t always have to react negatively.
Even though most see me as patient and laid-back from the outside, on the inside sometimes something different is happening. I can actually be easily frustrated and can be sensitive to the way I’m addressed by others. I get just as annoyed as the next person does. People think I’ve been walking around my whole life being optimistic, when in reality I’ve had to struggle to fight off pessimism. Today I’m still impatient at times but I’m more patient because I put in some hard work to become that person. It didn’t happen overnight, it took time. I also had to be honest with myself realizing that sometimes I’m too impatient. That’s the hard part that most of us don’t want to do. (Becoming the Best Version of You)
Now there are times when being impatient is an appropriate response; I think the same thing about anger. For example I remember when I broke my leg and went to the hospital the doctor and nurses were being lackadaisical about dealing with my injury. My dad became extremely impatient, but while keeping his composure he very sternly demanded that I be moved to a different hospital. His impatience led to me getting better care but realize I said that he kept his composure. Sometimes we think that we have to act out negatively in order to avoid suppressing our feelings or to get our points across when we don’t. There’s more than one way to skin a cat but a lot of the times we choose the hardest way.
If you truly want to become more patient it’s going to take some work and honesty on your part. The next time you get cut off traffic instead of having road rage move on with your life. When you see things aren’t going your way instead of throwing an adult temper tantrum think about possible solutions and remedies. If you experience horrible customer service somewhere instead of cursing someone out just ask for the corporate number and let them know your concerns. Before snapping at someone find a more effective way to communicate. These alternate reactions will bring more peace and positive energy to your life. The more you practice the more patient you become.
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This is a spoken word video about the importance of using your gifts and not dismissing your passions. Check it out and leave a comment! Don’t forget to subscribe!!
A while ago I wrote a blog about becoming the best version of yourself, that means realizing that we are not perfect and that there are things we all can work on to become better people. The key to do doing so is humbling yourself and being honest with yourself about the “flaws” that you have. For example maybe you could be more patient, do you speak rudely to others, can you be a better listener, etc. The issue with putting the responsibility of assessing yourself in your own hands is that we have been ourselves for so long that it can be hard to notice the areas that may need a little work. It may be hard and even awkward at times but sometimes what other people think about you, negative or positive, can be an important factor to becoming the best version of yourself possible.
When I started out doing spoken word and music a lot of people would always give me compliments on my performance. It felt really good to hear all the praises from others. Well one day some random person pretty much told me that I was just “ok”. My initial reaction was to ignore him and brush him off as a hater but then I decided to ask him “Well what do you think I could better?” To sum things up he told me that I lacked confidence. Now at that point I could have disregarded his opinion and focused on all the positive feedback that I was getting from others, but I didn’t. Even though it didn’t feel as good as the positive approvals I’d received, I realized that he was right and this ultimately led to me being a better performer. The guy in my story was unbiased to the opinion that I had of myself, and even though other people fed me good comments those words did nothing to elevate my performance and art. He was an outsider with an objective perspective on who I was as an artist and I choose to hear him out and make changes. I’ve applied this same attitude to how I receive constructive criticism from others when it comes to my personality.
For most of us when someone has an opinion about our character that we don’t like we tend to label them as haters. I see memes all the time telling people to be themselves no matter what anyone else says or thinks but truthfully, that’s unwise. Now there are some people’s opinion that are just meant to be hateful and crude, you know the actual “haters” that are out there! These people are usually pretty easy to spot because they’ll give you criticism without having anything constructive to say. Those are the opinions that don’t matter! However when someone tells you that you could be a little more polite, that you could stop and put others first sometimes, or that you could be a little less dismissive of someone else’s opinions, instead of getting mad or defensive you might want to hear them out. It’s definitely a humbling experience but it’s also a rewarding one.
A good way to ensure that you receive honest opinions on what kind of person you are is to keep honest people around you who aren’t “yes “ men and woman. It’s important to keep people around you who are willing to be honest about when you are wrong. I’ve been in heated arguments with people and then had friends tell me that maybe I went overboard or that I could have handled things in a more civil manner. Those opinions from honest friends have stuck with me for so long that even now when I’m in an argument or a debate I’m constantly telling myself to stay cool no matter how passionate or angry I might be on the inside.
If becoming the best version of you is something you want to do then you have to allow others to be honest with you in a respectable manner. You have to recognize that your opinion of yourself may be biased and therefore a little too generous. It’s great to be confident but it’s just as important to remain humble so that you can be willing to change those things you may not notice about yourself that others do. This is why what others think about you matters….sometimes!
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Check my new spoken word video “Fight” Don’t forget to leave a Comment, Like, and Share!
Check out my new spoken word video about my trip to Haiti! Don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SHARE!
A spoken word I put together in order to honor single mother and everything they do for their children! Don’t forget to SHARE and sign up to FOLLOW my blog!
I think sometimes we become way to self-centered in our lives, which leads to having fixed perspectives and being opinionated. We get to a place in our lives where we think and behave a certain way and have accepted that this is just who we are. I’m all about self-acceptance and self-love. I think it’s a beautiful thing when someone truly loves themselves, can accept all of their imperfections, and can live their life with self-confidence. However, I think at times we become so assured and comfortable with who we are that we forget that there’s room to grow.
No one is perfect. The fact is sometimes we’re wrong even when all of our live we’ve always thought we were right. We can’t be so set in our ways and in our views that we can’t improve on the individuals we are. Loving and accepting yourself is great but sometimes you have to be able to analyze who you are as a person to really understand who it is that you’re deciding to love. If I’m a selfish and rude person who “accepts me for who I am” then how can I progress and become a better person? We are living in a time when everyone wants to “keep it 100” and/or be honest with everyone but themselves. Some also don’t like when others respectfully correct them because they confuse that humbling feeling with belittlement or thinking that someone is “hating” on them. We’re to prideful to admit that at times we are the ones in error. Sometimes we are the problem, sometimes we’re horrible people, sometime we’re the bad guys but we aren’t humble enough to realize that. People don’t get stuck in their ways because they become older in age, people get stuck in their ways because they’ve never learned how to adapt and evolve as individuals.
I’ve mentioned in some of my older blogs that I have trust issues (See “Trust” blog). There was a time when I would tell you that I’m not a trusting person and that’s just who am so take or leave it. I knew that was no way to live and that I needed to change. I had to go through some personal growth in order to allow myself to trust again. I had to change who I was and go through some growing pains. Although I’ve learned from my past experiences and still keep a guard up because that’s a wise thing to do, I’ve learned to trust again. I’m nowhere near perfect and still have some growing to do but I’m humble enough to recognize that. I saw that the person I was needed to be upgraded to something better and sought to make that happen.
Don’t be afraid to look for flaws in your character. It’s not a matter of experiencing a guilt trip but rather figuring out how to become the best version of you.
As a spoken word artist and a musician I love what I do and have confidence in my abilities, but I still go back and watch my videos to see what I can improve on. Why? Because I want to become better and improve on my skills. It’s the same thing with who you are and how you develop as a person. Look at the way you think, the way you treat others, the decision you make in life, and so forth. Take a step back and see if there are areas in your life that you can improve in. You can do this while still loving yourself and being happy with you are. When you take hold of this mentality the person you are today will always be better than the person you were yesterday.
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Check out this week’s spoken word about failing! Don’t forget to COMMENT, SHARE, & FOLLOW MY BLOG!